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| Inspirational Posters Sayings That Should Be On Those Office Inspirational Posters:
If
you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably
haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
Plagiarism saves time.
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Never!
underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
We waste time so you don't have to.
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Succeed in spite of management.
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
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| Reasons to Allow Drinking at WorkIt's an incentive to show up.
It reduces stress.
It leads to more honest communication.
It reduces complaints about low pay.
It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
It encourages carpooling.
It increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't realize it.
It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
It makes fellow employees look better.
It makes conversations easier.
It promotes honesty.
It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
Suddenly, farting during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
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| Work and PrisonIn prison: You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At work: You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison: You get three meals a day.
At work: You get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
In prison: You get time off for good behavior.
At work: You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison: A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work: You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison: You can watch TV and play games.
At work: You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison: You get your own toilet.
At work: You have to share.
In prison: They allow your family and friends to visit.
At work: You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison: All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At work: You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from you salary to pay for prisoners.
In prison: You spend most of your life looking through bars from inside wanting to get out.
At work: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
In prison: There are wardens who are often sadistic.
At work: They are called supervisors.
In prison: You have unlimited time to read e-mail jokes.
At work: You get fired if you get caught.
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| Try SayingTRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way!
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure I can implement this.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, it won't work.
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck cares?
TRY SAYING: He's not fa!
miliar with the problem.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Bite me.
TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting?
TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a fucking prick.
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a bal!
l-busting bitch.
TRY SAYING: I think you could use!
more tr
aining.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck are you doing?
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| Luck"The man who said "I'd rather be lucky than good" saw deeply into
life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent
on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are
moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net and for a
split second it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck
it goes forward and you win. Or maybe it doesn't and you lose."
Chris Wilton, Match Point
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