Thursday, January 31, 2008

• Wal-Mart Ed-juh-kay-shin

  I've had the subject of this entry rattling around in my head for awhile but it's not "topically fresh", as my buddy Mike would say, so indulge me, if you will.  I was finally prompted to write it after reading this excellent entry by my other buddy, His Royal Diddyness.  Of course, I could only find time to write this in between serves in a game of "comment tag" with yet another buddy, Jack, who I'm pretty sure is only repeatedly visiting my last entry so he can look at my woman's boobs.
  
  Not that I blame him. 
  
  Speaking of boobs, the following is a video of Miss South Carolina, Caitlin Upton, as she fumbles her way through an answer to a question given to her during the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant.  Several versions of this video have been floating around the internet for months, but I only recently discovered them.  Please, watch this subtitled verision now if you haven't already...
  
  
  
  
  
  I didn't even laugh when I first saw the original video.  My jaw just dropped in disbelief that anyone could be so stupid.  But I'm not really making this entry to (just) make fun of Miss Upton, so I'll link you to the video of her subsequent appearance on the Today Show where she addressed her response and reanswered the question.  I also have to admit that she's a good sport because she also made fun of herself at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards.  I guess there really is no such thing as bad publicity.
  
  Anyway...
  
  What I really wanted to address was the question posed to her:  "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map.  Why do you think this is?"
  
  Now, if she truly misheard the question, as she stated she did on the Today Show appearance, the proper response would have been, "I'm sorry, would you repeat that, please?"  Even if she had understood the question, it still would have been a good response.  I mean, come on, my kids say that all the time!  OK, what they really say is "huh?", which we all know means "I heard you, but I have a feeling that I'm going to look bad if I give you a wrong answer, so I'm going to buy some time until I can formulate the response that I think you want to hear... even if it isn't the truth."
  
  The truth...
  
  That's what really intrigued me about that video:  what is the truthful answer to that question?  Miss Upton's truthful answer--not the one she gave on the Today Show, days after she had time to research it (read: ask someone smarter)--was probably "I don't know", but giving that answer definitely would have cost her the crown... which her actual answer did, anyway.
  
  Perhaps the judges should have posed only the first part of the question, shown her a world map, and then asked if she could point to the U.S.  If she'd identified it correctly (which she also stated she could on the Today Show), she could have then said something patriotic, like "How could I not know where this great country of ours is?  God Bless America!".  That probably would have earned her the crown and a standing ovation.
  
  But let's think about that question in broader terms:  "Why doesn't someone know something?"
  
  The answers are simple, but not the kind you want to give during a beauty pageant:
  

  • They haven't been taught.
  • They lack the mental ability to learn.
  • They don't care to know.
  • They have forgotten the answer.

  Now, let's address the first answer and bring it back to geography.  Is geography really not being taught in schools now?  I shudder to think that might be true.  I distinctly remember a heavy emphasis on geography even back in my own elementary school days.  Heck, one school I attended even had a Geography Bowl.  One student from each classroom (K-8) was picked for a competition with other students and [ahem] I was chosen to represent my second grade class.  The students and attending parents gathered in the gymnasium and the questions and answers were given to the team members individually and orally.  I don't remember how the teams were set up, but I do remember that even though my team lost, I had answered all of my questions correctly.  I didn't consider it a defeat, personally, and it sure beat the time I played a tree in the school's production of Cinderella.
  
  Anyway...
  
  I suppose I should know whether or not schools teach geography now, being that I have three school-aged children myself, but the truth is that most of their geographic knowledge came from Wal-Mart.
  
  

  Yes, Wal-Mart.
  

  
  About 5 years ago, shortly after moving into our current residence, I realized what utter slobs the kids were at the kitchen table.   On a Wal-Mart trip, I picked up 6 laminated placemats--educational types with things like American presidents, a U.S. map, a world map , U.S. money, the solar system, and colors (it had Elmo on it and my youngest was 5 at the time)--hoping to keep dribbled food and drink off the table.  Well, it didn't work.  They actually held the placemats and read them.  They learned from them; especially from the map mats.
  
  We still have those mats and they still don't keep them under their food; they still read them, although these days it's more like a competition.  From the kitchen, I often hear things like:
  
  

  "How many square miles is South America?"
  
  "6,880,630!"
  
  "Wrong, it's 6,880,638, retard!"
  
  "Oh, go to Helsinki!"
  
  "That's in Finland!"
  
  "I know, but we're not allowed to cuss."
  
  

  
  And that's really the best part of education, folks--letting someone know you know something they don't know so you can make them feel stupid.
   
  

  Currently Listening Rock 'n Soul, Pt. 1 By Hall & Oates Adult Education see related

  • 5:14 PM
  • 18 eprops
  • 12 comments