At Anaconda High: Star graduate talks openly about battle with anorexia

Monday, June 04, 2007

At Anaconda High: Star graduate talks openly about battle with anorexia

Anaconda High School senior Jessie Moodry is graduating 10th in her class Sunday. This fall she will start school at Boise State University studying exercise and sports science. Walter Hinick / The Montana Standard.

ANACONDA — Jessie Moodry has it all.

Doe-eyed with a high-wattage smile, she is a homecoming queen, athlete and student council officer. And Sunday, she’ll graduate from Anaconda High School 10th in her class.

“I strive for perfection,” the 18-year-old said, sitting in her kitchen.

But her goals reveal her unenviable personal battle.

“I want to be at a healthy weight for my height,” she said. “I want to exercise and feel good instead of having my heart pounding through my chest.” Moodry suffers from bulimia and anorexia nervosa — eating disorders that dominated her senior year.

Instead of counting down to graduation she counted calories. Instead of concentrating in class she fought hunger pangs. Instead of playing basketball, she went through treatment.

“I know I have a problem,” Moodry said, a green sweatshirt and denim Capri pants draping her angular frame. “I know I need help.” Hopeful for healing, Moodry closed her senior year by opening up about her struggle, not only for her benefit, but for others’.

“A lot of girls are afraid to talk about it,” she said. “Help other people — that’s what I want to do.” She’s already a role model, her advocates said.

“She recognized she needed help,” teacher and friend Angela McLean said. “That honesty with herself is what’s going to ensure her recovery.” No bad stuff The pivotal moments are vivid.

Trouble was seeded, Moodry said, at a track meet her freshman year when conversation among friends turned to food and figures. They decided they didn’t measure up.

“We said, ‘OK, from now on we eat healthy — no bad stuff,’” Moodry said.

Then distortion took root her junior year, while she was working as a lifeguard and compared her shape to bikini-clad bodies.

“I was noticing my legs were bigger,” she said. “I decided to start throwing up my food.” And crisis set in a week before her senior year, on a vacation in Colorado.

“We were school shopping,” she said, recalling frustration as she tried on clothes. “That was the day I said, ‘I’ll do anything.’” She joined 24 million Americans with eating disorders, 90 percent of whom are between 12 and 25 years old, the Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness says.

Carrots and lettuce Bulimia was a deeply set habit by the time Moodry got caught.

“She would be in different areas of the house, using a different bathroom or the music would be up loud,” her mom, Linda Moodry, said. “One day, I turned the music down and I heard her. I just demanded to get in. I just kind of lost it.” Still, Moodry escalated into starvation. She skipped breakfast, ate carrots or lettuce for lunch and refused dinner. She ran nine miles a day, and became dangerously thin.

“I was obsessed with suckers,” she said. “It was just to make me forget about my hunger. I couldn’t concentrate in school.” Family life deteriorated At meal times “my dad would kind of block me in and say ‘You’re not going anywhere until you eat half your plate,’” she said. “I’d cry. Everybody would cry.” Her problems confused family, and efforts to help made matters worse, Linda said.

“We just couldn’t grasp the concept,” she said. “I know that food is good for you and it makes you feel good. We had no idea what the heck she was dealing with.” Teachers noticed, too.

“Her spark was just missing one day,” McLean said. “I kept her after class and asked her what was wrong. She started crying and she started to open up.” Ultimately, Moodry sought help.

She entered treatment in Salt Lake City, followed by ongoing help from a team of area doctors and family counseling. Although her struggles continue, things seem to be looking up.

“I’m at my lowest weight, and I shouldn’t be,” she said. “But I’m feeling so much better.” Uphill battle Slowly, Moodry is beginning to eat more.

“Sometimes I can have a piece of toast,” for breakfast, she said, adding she can also manage soup, salad and Lean Cuisine meals.

She focused on healing and becoming a positive influence, she said.

“A lot of girls come up to me and say, ‘I’m having a problem,’” she said. “They’ve been purging.” She is rejecting rail-thin women as role models for size.

“A lot of people look like they just came out of a concentration camp,” she said. “In the movies, they say, ‘We don’t even make size sixes.’” Meanwhile, she is eager to start school at Boise State University next fall, studying exercise and sports science, hoping to one day become a physical therapist.

An uphill battle is ahead, but Moodry is ready for the fight.

“It’s still got me, but I know a lot about it now,” she said. “It takes a lot of time, but anybody can get through it. I really think they can.”