| that's me. seems
like i have it all together right?? im skinny. i run xc
which is a great way to lose weight! i look happy. well
maybe you don't want to hear my life story but ill just say this:
I WAS NOT HAPPY. i had dropped 20 pounds within a month, going
from 137 to 117. i think almost all of you would worship me for
that. you would say that is awesome. but you cant deny that
when you starve yourself there is deep pain inside. there were
times i cried tears of frustration when I couldn't fit into my clothes
cause they were too big but I still thought I was unbelievably
fat. there were times when i chewed food than spat it back out
cause I thought throwing up was just so gross. i never went
schopping cause i thought i was insanely fat. i hated clothes, i
hated food, i hated people, i hated doctors, i hated me.
you think everything is gonna be perfect if you get there. you
think losing weight is the answer to everything. but the truth is
you're scarred for life. you will never completely recover.
I have learned to love my body and be myself with lots of time and
healing. but i will never recover from that frame of mind which
always counts calories, thinks about food a lot, and can't imagine life
a couple pounds heavier.
Most of you have probably already left this site already out of disgust
and hatred. but take it from someone who really knows and
understands. IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!! YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO
ACHIEVE WHAT YOU"RE STRIVING FOR UNLESS YOU GIVE IT UP. maybe
you're afraid you'll be fat if you stop. that is a huge
lie!! i am still known as "one of the skinniest people alive" and
I eat a lot and run cross country and love my body and im
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH HAPPIER!!!!!!!!!! I was living in a living
hell back then. i had few friends and interests other than losing
weight, running, and school work(in other words - perfection).
now im living life to the fullest and have lots of friends and have
gotten more involved in things other than sports and schoolwork.
IF YOU"RE READY TO STOP LIVING IN HELL ON EARTH AND STILL BE THIN AND
BE HAPPY AND LOVE LIVE AND SO MUCH MORE . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
PLEASE EMAIL ME!!!!!!!!!!! - - - - - - erinlrhodes1@juno.com
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