Weblog » Archives » October 2005

  • To all of the wonderful people who left me comments on my last post, thank you so much. I read posts form my previous Anorexia xanga, in the height of my self-hatred, but I still had self-respect when guys were treating…

  • Sadly enough. Been thinking of selling myself. I know a few friends who used to srip, or were prostituted. I don't know. But it'd be a hell of a lot easier to make money than working many many hours. I don't know. but I'…

  • Worked sucked. Haven't done my homework - still have housework to do before i do it anyway. I need work clothes. Don't have money to find them - hopefully somebody has them I can borrow. Dad proposed yesterday and "no…

  • So. I start work tomorrow. At PartyAmerica a Party store (no duh right). It's temporary for the Halloween season, but hte manager said these two weeks I just have to prove myself and I could be kept on. Who knows. I don…

  • BAH! Do i want to go behind dad's back and go for culinary because its what I want to do? Or do i just give in and follow his demands... and alost guaranteed not even get to try at culinary - to see if I have what it t…

  • Homework. Blah. Things aren't going well.... slowly going a pound or two still. ugh where do i get a job... hmmm have apps... dont' know which to turn in. eh ill figure it out ugh

  • Okay. I need to write about what happened last night. Dad went to see my old "counceller" in the morning (I found out and the reason why) to talk to him about "how to talk to me." Whatever. So he came home. And decided…

  • Screw Life. Culinary school is now out. Whatever happened to dreams? Oh well. Can't talk to anybody except dad now - i still dont' really want to. Oh freaking well. And its all my fault - not anybody else's... so I ju…

  • You know. This really is starting to suck. Scott won't even be my friend. His mother is butt-hurt about the emails i wrote HIM... she really gets in the middle of it too much. And I'm not doing well in any classes. An…

  • screw life. screw it with all you have... because it just straight out sucks

  • Since the brother and dad are onto my case already because of an asshole named Scott and his mother, I'm backing off for a sec... but planning deeply instead. The hour walk through the market yesterday was beneficial...…

  • Intake: Chicken Broth - 25 calsLight 100 cal bag of Popcorn - 100calsSF Jello w/ Fruit and FF Cool Whip - 110***EDIT*** Chunk of Lemon Cake - (be safe....) 3504 egg whites - 68 calories1 slice 98% FF ham - 25 cals***END…

  • I haven't commented to anyone at all. I'm so sorry. But i can't feel the will to do so. I'm so screwed up right now. I want nothing more than to starve away, throw myself up, fade away and shrink into absolutely nothing…

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