THE WOMEN'S CONFERENCE

My reflections on the women's conference, that I went to back in mid-Nov, will now be more narcissistic than ever.  I'm sure I remember more about what I thought about (as a result of what people said), than what the speakers actually had to say. 

I did peruse my notes, however, and now I remember why I haven't posted about it.  There was a whole lotta stuff said.  Lest the topic become too large and unweildy, I'll just tell you the things that struck me right off the bat.

First,  I have some baggage.  Call it spiritual baggage, denominational baggage, whatever.  I imagine we actually all have SOME.  When you sit to listen to someone speak, your receptiveness is colored by your affiliation, or lack of affiliation with SOMETHING.  I know that's vague, but I had to consciously strip away my PCA-listening ears.  And just hear what people had to say.

I guess I should define my PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) baggage.  The PCA is the denomination I was raised in.  I share our pastors sentiments, when he says, "The PCA is a mess, but it's the best mess I know."

Sometimes when speakers present a list, I can feel myself tuning out, before they've begun.  This isn't necessarily fair, as a list may be a good way to organize what they have to say.  But the gospel has become more condensed in my mind, as I've gotten older.  It makes me want to strip away all of the "6 Steps to Godly Living," or whatever the instruction may be.  There's really only one step, right?  Depend on Jesus more.  He is the only righteousness.

So the first speaker had me re-tuning the dial in my mind.  Hers was a list about the most effective ways to have time alone with God every day.  "The time should be the 'first fruits of the harvest' of your day.  Heros of the Bible sought God early and earnestly."  All true.  She talked about Jesus waking early in the morning to pray.  Certainly, I can't argue with His perfect example.  But the final list erked me.  One of it's points was, "refuse to miss a day."  She talked about little charts for keeping track of the days that you've spent in the Word.

Here's what I'm wondering: Am I just a desperate night-owl looking for an exception to a generally good rule?  Maybe.  But in my stage of life, the "refuse to miss a day," and "keep track on a chart" plan of execution sounds like a recipe for disaster.  When Baby #5 comes along, and I'm in a state of sleep-deprivation, I don't think I want to see what my chart looks like.  And I'm not saying that my life is so much harder than everyone else's.  I'm saying just the opposite.  Isn't tracking quiet times on a chart, just asking to feel defeated and bogged down by guilt?  Or maybe not. . .

Maybe that sort of thing appeals to your meticulous nature.  But won't you feel inclined to give yourself a mental, gold star for the day, when you see all those checked boxes?  Is that what Christ wants from us?  A sense of self-righteousness, because we 'refused to miss a day.'  I don't think so.  I think he wants our eyes on Jesus, who was perfectly righteous for us.  He knows that even on the checked box days, I fail miserably to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  And if you think you've got that one covered, how about loving your neighbor as yourself?

Anyway, I digress.  I think I've fully captured the sense of ambivalence that I felt, after listening to the first speaker.  Don't misunderstand me.  I think obedience is important.  Quiet times are good.  I should certainly have more of them.

. . .I'll talk more tomorrow about the other speakers and other aspects of my spiritual baggage. :)