Monday, May 12, 2008

• Its poem night

  Tori Amos inspired me tonight to write poems tonight, afetr being awed at her own poems. I left all rules of measures and rhymes at the door and just started letting myeslef out. It was for the first time ever, I enjoyed writing poetry. Though when I reread it just this morning, I saw how secretly mean it is, with no intentions whatsoever from me to make it mean. It's as if my subconcious self flowed right out and wrote something. And when I came back as my concious self, the poems were complete strangers. But it's ok, I like it. I like how the words are not flowery nor pretentious. Haha, maybe I'll venture into poetry. hmm....

  Room polarity

  Im sorry I hate you,
  you remind me of someone I hate.
  How unfair, I know, but perhaps not.
  if how you act,

  how you talk,

  how you react,

  is like that certain someone,

  then I guess I authentically do.

  Did I make you think I hate you?

  Ah, maybe not.

  But still, I have to be miles away.

  Its not really about you, it’s me.

  But it still is really about you.

   

  My Cosmetics might hear you

   

  My Cosmetics might hear you.

  It may stop its magic in treating

  my ugly

  Let me apply it in secret.

  It is my only hope,

  since punishments from elves

  is not what it is as i have hoped.

  I found out through an offering of chocolate.

   

  No, not elves. No sorry to

  treat my ugly

  Let my Cosmetics do the job.

   

  Oil and Water

   

  I can never get you,

  the damage has been done.

  Now is it really the trauma,

  that brought forth the gap?

  Or is it because we’re too different?

   

  Like Water and oil,

  like diamond and glass.

  If we try, it would just

  be touching a non-contortionist’s nose

  with his foot.

   

  Maybe it’s a bit of both don’t you think?

  Still, I wonder how you can endure.

  How your face retains composure.

  How you dig your way through,

  minutes like hours,

  seconds like minutes,

  silence as awkward as

  meeting PTA officers in the movies.

  You have no choice here right?

  Better endure than ignore.

  It’s a lesser of two evils.

   

  Delusion/truthful

   

  Life is not fair.

  How come when you’re

  crazy, you don’t know

  you are?

   

  I have this friend,

  she says everyone is in love with her.

  How can that be true,

  when such a girl is so hideous?

  Cute perhaps, but hideous.

   

  I believe everyone is in love with me.

  Can it be true?

  No way of knowing. Immediate no’s coming.

   

  How come life is so unfair?

   

  Tell me, am I crazy, or am

              I truthful?

   

  Crazy because society invisibly written so,

  truthful because I am not like you.

   

  Am I gifted with gifts beyond

              what is superior?

  Or another blot in psychological behavior?

   

  Shoe

   

  I was once asked,

  if my shoe was a boy,

  or a girl.

   

  I said no, I don’t want it to be a boy,

  nor a girl,

  nor a boy who is a girl,

  nor a girl who is a boy.

   

  I want him to be a shoe.

  Why do we have penises and vaginas?

  Can we all be shoes?

   

  gods and animals

   

  The priest told me we’re gods,

  but if gods mean

  capable of captivating,

  then no,

  I don’t want to be a god.

  For something bigger created a world

  where there is no god,

  for He only created harmony.

  We are only god to ourselves,

  and others are captives

  because, we gods, think they are.

   

  If every creatures had hands,

  then there will be no gods.

  Only us.

   

  If other priests tells me I’m god,

  then I quit religion,

  and dress myself in leaves.

   

  Cars and tingling spines

   

  “Stop yelling!”

  underneath that bored face

  I cry.

  Stop yelling

  What good would it do?

  Can’t you just accept that

  the road is a swamp?

  a jungle?

  feces unflushable?

   

  Stop yelling!

  What good would it do

  but send shiver down my spine?

  If only I have my own car.

   

  Boring

  You’re boring as hell,

  how can they love you?

  Maybe they have no one

              else to love.

  Can’t think of anything else.

   

  Vain Girl

   

  Vain girl cries,

  do you remember me?

   

  vain girl cries,

  what was I wearing?

   

  vain girl cries,

  where was I standing?

   

  vain girl thinks,

  do you think I’m pretty?

   

  Tell me, did you really chase the facts,

  or assure yourself that you’re adored?

  I’ve lost interest in you.

   

  You’re not even that pretty.

   

  Society of barber’s cut, a mandate.

   

  The boss of that building

  asked me to meet the scissors everytime.

  For how can hair so short

  make us look nice?

  It doesn’t.

  Let me guess, in the process, you will be the ones

  looking pretty with our hair.

   

  I hate the boss, therefore I defy.

  In deadlines, I defy.

  Risky it may be, but thank God

  they did not care.

  For a few documents shall repair,

  this infraction of obedience,

  stain my records,

  though smallest of stains.

   

  Surely, I’ll retain, and triumphantly win a title.

   

  When I became older for the law,

  I stop abiding and start rejoicing,

  But they were right.

  Long locks does not cut it for me.

  Therefore, what I have avoided is

  really what I needed.

  Therefore, what I indulged is really

  what I could’ve dealt without.

   

  Did I defy for defiance?

  Yes.

   

  • 7:21 PM
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