| | Why are you smiling....You say you love me…. A Smile crept across my face…. You smile whore…. Listen to yourself breathe and soundly come back to reality…. Jealously has taken its toll…. And you like simple when its mere complications holding you down…. We are the representation…. Representing past, present, and future generations of lost teenagers, confused by the difference between love and lust, dependency and solemn thinking, hope and selfishness. Don’t wait up for me, this journey will show me who you really are and he can get away with this. Breaking dates and finding you in places so unstable I question my own theories and logics. Here I lie undressed of my usual attire… wearing nothing but good intentions and armed with a heart willing to break at any cause. Your brightest future I have in mind…. Kiss me for good luck. The worlds a crazy place… is that all souls are good for… connecting with another and throwing away the tie between one’s mind and one’s heart forgetting everything I used to stand for…. I never knew or imagined you’d be the one to bring me down… sweet sweet girl I trusted… you only wanted me to change for you. Why didn’t I see it coming… is it trust I’m lacking or is it strings she’s pulling. I’d give anything for her and that’s what she knows… I should’ve never let her in on my secret. But I always hoped she could see it in my eyes. Simply put… I don’t want to do it alone and she’s telling me “You have to, except when I’m free.” I cant play this game and my falling apart can only last for so long…. Call me overdramatic… only the ignorant of drama would say that. And they don’t exist. Look after yourself. Tell me to do so. The calendar is no longer my friend for time is running out. I’ve lost my way along the road… that was my faithful routine…. I remember hope. Hope was looking at the stars and knowing, not because there’s no way I could ever understand but because I had reassurance. I remember hope. It’s a sad sad day when you remember loss more than hope…. When you remember the last lie told to you rather than hope… and even worse do you remember the last real kiss… when she was 100% sure. Maybe I don’t understand anything… my brain somehow mixed up with my heart and decided to give me what I needed to sustain a normal life when my soul is begging for extraordinary. My enemies are growing strong. Someone tell me my life is not pure convenience. Anyone. You saw me through this… my hearts last desires and the God to put me through them…. To bad I need to find reality. You know he doesn’t care right? Not about you. About himself? You better believe it. But you, you’ll be flying again soon. I’m using words to sweep you off your feet. Words so wrapped around my own finger that I only show you the bits and pieces others could get by reading between the lines…. My enemies… My solitude…. Each day you’ll see more…. You don’t see me for who I am… yet. And I won’t give it up until you’re sure you want to hear it all…. I could tell you stories that would make you question who you thought I was…. I’m only hiding behind writing…. But at least I’m following something I believe in with all my heart…. This is not goodbye this is not see you later this is until then….. |
| | Posted 4/13/2006 1:33 PM - 1 view - 5 comments
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