Monday, May 12, 2008

• You know, there's people that you're friends with and some people wonder why you're friends with them.
  They have this miscewed perception of what the person is, but they're wrong. Because that person, that I'm friends with, is my best friend. And no, it's not just because she buys me dinner at Olive Garden. But because she's always there. She's there when I puke in my driveway, she's then when my mom goes crazy, she's there when I feel like shit and don't want to move from my bed all day. And she's there to light a fire under my ass and get me to try new things at church. And she's always there to remind me that I deserve the world, I deserve what God says is possible and I deserve the best.

  And as far as I'm concerned, I have the bestest best friend in the world. Even if you guys don't get it.

  There's things I want, like being closer to God. Some may point their fingers and raise an eyebrow, saying how hypocritical because I don't live my life to the point of a real Christian believer, but I'm working on it. I'm trying to downsize the lag time, I want to react to a situation with a God-like behavior. I don't want to scream at my parents and my sisters when I'm upset. And granted, that doesn't happen unless provoked, actually, even if provoke I wont repsond. But that's not because I've gotten any better. It's simply because I haven't the energy to care. I haven't got the energy to sit there and scream, so instead, I let it all go unsaid. Which is just as unhealthy as screaming.

  I'm soul seeking.
  And being lazy behind pages of books, this summer.

  • 11:00 PM
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