I started to write this in July but haven't finished it until now.  The first half was written in July and the second just now.  Hope you understand what I want to share here.

When I walked out the apartment building, I felt like that it would rain.  Without thinking twice, I continued my walk to the library.  No umbrella, no thought about the rain at all.

After two blocks, it started raining and I was right under a tree at that moment.  I said to myself, “it might be a short and minor one, I might just stay under this big tree and wait until it is over”.  The tree was big enough to cover and keep me from the rain, that what I thought.  Then it became heavier and found that the tree was not able to protect me from getting wet.  Therefore, I decided to run to the front porch of an apartment building where there was a cover for me to hide from the heavy rain (it was really heavy, if you don’t believe me, go to check the weather report for July 5).

Then He stated talking, yes, I felt that Father talked to me at that moment.  He said that I ignored the warning of the rain just as I ignored the Holy Spirit often.  Thinking about the tree could protect me from the rain just as I look for my way to pursue what I want always.  I need to make the choice now: either stay under the tree as I feel that is enough to ‘protect’ me from rain or run to the front porch? 

I believed what God wanted to talk to me was that: I have a decision to make now – how to live my life?  Living according to my own way, my flush, the ‘earthly’ way (stay under the tree)? Or following His lead that He can protect me (running to the front porch with firm foundation)? 

Through the OT, Israelites knew who God was but still walked astray from His way.  They even thought that Egypt could protect them from their enemy rather than God.  I am acting in a similar way.  I think that I desire/plan the best for myself but don’t know I am actually hurting myself.  I think that I will be satisfied when my desires are fulfilled but not.  Deep in my heart I know that I need Him, only He can satisfy my heart and soul.  He can complete me even without anything or anyone else.  The only problem is that I am not willing to lay it down.  Laying down my own desire and myself.  He is my Father who created me and loves me. 

So what can I do today?   To submit myself completely to Him (again), to declare that I will follow Him with my whole heart.  May He give me the strength to keep up with my decision.  Let Him be my only focus.