The world's stuck, somewhere between clarity and confusion. There's no backwards or forwards--just this. Wheels spinning in dirt that isn't even there. You can't lose what you can't forget, and you can't forget what never happened.
It isn't enough to realize that things have to change. That something needs to be done. Making lists doesn't matter, unless you actually begin to check things off. And not the odd issue here and there--something of substance.
There are questions that won't be answered, that can't be answered. It's that simple. But there's a danger, too, in remaining silent. There are times where nothing makes sense or feels right. And the wrong things are said. Other times, nothing gets said or done. There's no balance. No middle of the road.
You can blame people. You can list the reasons why, and why not. You can detail the fight (figuratively, metaphorically) that's gotten you from here to there, and the one that's kept rooted to the same spot. But when it all comes down to it, it's you. It's your life and mistakes. And even the most carefully constructed smile cannot hide the things that lie beneath.
In short, I've become rather pensive tonight, and I in my fit of narcissistic, soul-dwelling self-evisceration, I've come to a few conclusions. And here they are, thrown together in a heap. They're in no particular order, and the coherence is relative.
--Jealousy happens in strange fits, whenever you least expect it. Realize it. Acknowledge it. And then swallow it. Don't let it consume you.
--Everyone has an idea of how your life should be or go. This does not entitle them to shove these opinions in your face as if they are revelations from the Divine. Take all of these ideas with a grain of salt, and don't completely ignore what they're saying. A wise person pays attention to everything, even when he/she doesn't want to.
--Love doesn't solve everything; if you're doing it right, it gets messy. If it's too simple, too easy, RUN. One of you is lying. Or faking. Or both.
--Indecision solves nothing; in fact, it creates more problems, if you've got half a brain cell and an ounce of cognizance.
--In life, you will disappoint others. But in the end, that doesn't matter. Because you've got to live with yourself.
--In the same vein, you will let yourself down. Probably when you shouldn't. You'll cave and crack. You'll be stupid and follow your heart. You'll do the wrong thing for the right reason. You'll forget yourself. But at the end of the day? Forgive yourself. Give it a shot. You just might like it.
Comments (6)
I am glad you thought it all out! Now I don't have to! Seriously though, these are great points!
These are all really true points.
@Southernlass - Thanks, my dear! Now, if I could figure out a few other things in my life. *grin* There are days where I feel like I'm having a quarterlife crisis. hehe
@kangasorama - Glad that you found that these rung true.
There is a Zen saying - Choosing not to choose is still making a choice.
There's an old song by Bad Religion where the chorus goes, over and over, "Everybody knows what's best for you!" The point being that of course they don't.
Wow that's great! I may not have admitted it out loud, but I think deep down I was expecting not to fight with Cody when we were married. We fight, but it's so worth it to make up and make things work. Love is hard. And pleasing everyone is so hard, it will only make you crazy if you try. That was hard for me to realize. I'm still working on it, but I'm a lot less stressed out because of it. Everyone needs to read this and tell others about it!