Thursday, July 10, 2008
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To Buy A Boat or Not.
My brother is getting married in Mexico in September. One week later they are having another ceremony here in Canada basically for the benefit of my parents who are too old and frail to make the trip.At first my brother said one was enough, the second one was added after my sisters went to work on him.
My soon to be sister in law asked my girls to be bridesmaids, they of course were thrilled and quickly said yes.Great , I was now stuck with having to take them to Mexico.This will not be a cheap excursion, even for one.Last week when I was staying with my brother at his cottage I came to the conclusion that I simply can't afford to take them.
While I was up there I saw that my parents had been letting my nephews use my pontoon boat. They had busted out the drink holders with their rowdy friends.The boat is pretty old and the motor is acting up but I was still furious at them for letting them use it. "He's family" my folks were quick to say.
What a crock of shit. My parents have no concept of family sharing at the cottage.I bought it from them in 1988 but I can't use it when they are there...and they are ALWAYS there.I knew this was the arrangement, I paid them for it so it couldn't be disputed in their will, it guarantees that it WILL be all mine one day.In the meantime I am not welcome there which is fine by me. I stay with my brother who is two doors over.My parents let them use my boat to spite me, they know there is no way on earth that I would let my nephews use it.
Now just down the lake is a sweet old man who is 81 years old. I have always liked him and have visited him whenever I am up north, have since I was a kid. He bought a pontoon boat about 5 years ago and like everything of his, he has kept it in tip top shape.Last week he had a for sale sign on his cottage. I went down to visit him and while I was there his phone rang and he accepted an offer for his place.
That afternoon he and I went for a boatride in his pontoon. I asked him if the boat was a part of the cottage sale.It isn't. We talked price and I asked for first refusal and if I could have a few days to think it over.He agreed.
The price is a fair one, a good deal but not a giveaway on his part. He is old, not stupid. I want to buy his boat, and can just about manage it without too much pain.
But then I would have to explain to my girls how I can afford to buy a boat but can't afford to take them to Mexico when I had said I would.Truth be told I know the trip won't cost as much as the boat, but I can't afford both.With a second wedding a week later that they can be bridesmaids in , buying the boat makes sense to me.I should point out that none of my sisters are bringing their kids to Mexico.
I figure the boat will last another 15 years, my folks won't . It is a good opportunity , and one that the girls will reap the benefits from.I don't see how I can pass on that boat.I'll keep it in storage til they die and can use it. My old one can be taken over by the "family" for all I care.
I hate to disappoint my girls , but opportunity has come knocking.
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Comments (11)
Well, if you start now, there's this place called Itasca Minnesota. A pretty big river starts there. How about you buy the boat, take your girls, a couple tents and go to Mexico, via the gulf? When you guys hit St. Paul, I'll drive out and buy you lunch. Then I'll just call you Sawyer. Or Huck maybe.
I am a well of bad advice these days. But I bet it would be the trip of a life time.
I have to say, if you can do it, take the girls to Mexico and make the trip more than just for your brothers wedding. Make it a trip they, and you, will remember forever.
Mike
P.S. - You and SHE remain in my thoughts and prayers.
I think ETCACTOR has a good idea. Weddings are expensive business. I hope the bride picks reasonable dresses that your girls can use again at a school formal or something! I haven't been to Mexico, but in 2002 my family went on a vacation in the Dominican Republic and it was the most wonderful vacation I've ever had. There were no itineraries...it was just about enjoying the beautiful island and weather and each other's company. I actually think about it a lot because it was our last vacation as an entire family before my mom died and it will always be special to me.
Anyway, we used to have a pleasure boat. We live near a canal that connects to the Illinois River so it's not like there was a problem not being near a body of water...it's just such a pain to load and unload and to store the boat (racoons made the boat their nest not once but twice and my dad had to completely replace the interior). Ugh! RACOONS!!! It really just got kind of boring after a while. Not only that, but gas is way more expensive now than it was then.
The difference is that you can keep the boat and sell it later. Mexico is a one-time deal with no monetary returns so I can see how that would be a deal-breaker.
That's just my two-cents. :) Good luck!
I say tell them you will have the wedding on the boat and not charge them much for the luxury of it! Kill two birds, as they would say! have your cake and throw it too! Wait, something's not right there...
I think you should explain how you feel to your girls. What you have said here makes a lot of sense. I think they will understand. Of course that depends on how old they are.
As you said the money you spend on the boat is something that you and your daughters will benefit from for many years. The wedding is a once off occasion....... and after-all there will be a second wedding !
Your brother really screwed up by not asking you first. And fact of the matter is the trip is a trip but the but will float for a very long time.
Tell them you have been saving for a boat for forever,and you were never asked by the bother if you would afford them going to Mexico. Tell them it all could have been avoided if it had been cleared with you first. My niece here says she'd rather have the boat. she is 14. I think your girls will understand.
And for gods sakes buy that boat!
you can talk to S but not me?..wow..
I see you bought a boat. This is the right choice, I firmly believe it.
Hang tight my friend hang tight- Bec
I'm glad that you have learned so much, in the face of such tragedy. Your insight was wonderful, and i am very thankful that someone could offer the perspective you did so honestly, although I cannot imagine the heart break that would come from seeing someone like the wonderful girl you described taking her life.
Thank you, again.
May the Lord bless you.
This is kind of a difficult situation, for sure. It DOES look really bad when you spend money on something after you said you don't have the money to keep another commitment. That ruins integrity a bit...
I'd skip the boat. I have a feeling you'll need that money for something else soon afterwards.
i know plenty of awkward men too, unfortunately they tend to think they should date awkward women. but that creates disaster! i enjoyed snooping around today!