Some still claim that it happened when Nik died. They say I lost all sanity causing me to lash out into an undisciplined party state. Who knows, there is a small chance that all of their excuses were true. I don't know. I honestly don't know much anymore. However, I know that I went from a straight-A good girl to a mother's worst nightmare. All it took was a bag of dope and a driver's license yet all that remains is the question: Was it worth it? I remember how it felt that day. It was a gloomy day since I woke up that morning for school. It was pouring outside and I instantly had a depressed mind set. I went to my first block with the determination to let my boyfriend go. His words played over-and-over again in my head. "I don't love you anymore." If you hate someone it seems so much easier to leave them. That was my theory and my plan. I knew I could easily pretend to hate this guy in order to let him go. Little did I know, my plan and life could change in an hour of class time. Ten minutes before the bell rang, my classmates and I gathered our folders and prepared to walk through the classroom door, carrying on to our following classes. However, our teacher, Ms. Sova told us to sit back down and read off of a small strip of paper. It was from our village newspaper. "Rosco student killed in morning crash" A 16-year-old Roscommon High School was killed Wednesday morning after the car he was traveling in went off West Birch Rd. near Old 27 in Lyon Township and struck a group of trees..." Ms. Sova had a hard time finishing the letter through the tears that ran down her face. I was in a class with a different crowd of people. None of which seemed to know Nik. All of my emotions ran to a form of numbness at first. Almost as if demanding she had read a different name, demanding that none of what I head be true, and demanding that the rest of the world stopped with my heartbeat. I asked to leave the room as my teacher asked me to see a counselor. I did no such thing and ran to the bathroom. I tried to run and hold everything back. I tried but the moment I dodged through the bathroom door, I fell to the floor leaning against the brick wall. I heard "Oh Ashley..." as two blurred figures shoved their shoulders under my armpits and drug me to the office. I remember being drug through the hallway as the bell rang and teenagers flooded the halls. Most people laughed, talked in their social groups, and glared at me as I passed. What are they doing? Why are they still laughing and carrying on with their day? Didn't they know we just lost a beautiful soul that morning? Didn't they know a deep joy was just ripped from my life? Couldn't they tell it was a moody day and the world needed to stop? In the office, I ran to my savior. The man I looked to my whole life. The one person who has always been there for me. He was my discipline, my love, and my best friend. He was my brother, Andrew. The second oldest of my mother's 3 children and more of a father figure to me. I called him on the phone and in less than 3 minutes time you can bet he ran through the rain and up to the school to grab me. I fell into his arms as usual as he told me everything was ok. We found ourselves in this position many times in our lives. | 
