| | Recording Rap Music: For Dummies.
So
you've decided to follow your dream of producing the next hit rap song.
Good luck, Dr. Dre, you'll need it! But to help you along the way, here
are some great tips. Time tested, mother approved.
Recycle
vintage songs. The more Motown, the better. For added bonus points,
increase pitch to an almost squirrel-like tone. Read below for more
information.
1) Make use of voice-changers.
For Crunk music: Make it slow. Darth Vader slow.
For R&B: Use vocodor's. Think Cher-like.
 Inspiration for new songs.
2)
Give the impression that you were in a gang. Forget about street cred,
"bussin' a cap" in a rival gang members anus is where it's at.
 Bullet-bullet!
3)
Degrade your women. In fact, pretend they're nothing but objects to
you. B*tch; h*es (in different area codes), sl*ts, wh*res, etc.
4)
The more non-existent money you have, the better your chances are in
scoring with the ladies after your track plays on the radio. Remember:
You've got money in the bank, shawty whatchu drank?
 Eminem made it a lot easier for them.
5)
Join G-Unit. Nothing says "I love to find ways in making money moreso
than producing quality (c)rap" than this crew of untalented shleps.
G-G-G-G-UNOT!
6) The
prime topic of choice for rappers are random female body parts.
Tittays, Boobays, A*ses, thangs, moneymakers, legs and thighs, lips,
and "lips".
 7) Be stereotypical. Rap about chicken, watermelon, and "cook, coke, crack." It's okay, because you're Black.
A segue.
If you love fried chicken, Kentucky Fried Chicken should be an afterthought. Living
in New York, you're exposed to a wide variety of food and restaurants.
Quick eats are always at your disposal--especially drunken munchies.
And if you're from NY, you've definitely seen one these: Kennedy's Fried Chicken. They're also called Crown Fried Chicken
in some parts of New York. Kennedy's is the best for fried food period.
Burger, fries, and a soda for $4. Chicken sandwich, fries, and 9 piece
mozzarella sticks: $6. Tell me of a place that can beat that price.  Where else can you order your meal behind bullet-proof glass? The food is prepared fresh and their
frying is impeccable; crisp, not soggy. I'd recommend Kennedy's to
anyone who enjoys fried food and is on a budget. The only drawback is
usually the neighborhood Kennedy's are located in but its worth getting
shot for this place. |
| | Posted 8/7/2007 8:02 PM - 87 views - 65 comments
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