A select group of females have told
me, "You just don't get it. You have to be a girl to understand." Well,
damnit, I do! Because to operate the inner-workings
of the thing called a "female" (with chocolates, bunnies, and roses), you have to know how they think. And I
know how they think (just like I know your mother!).
In fact, if I were a female blogger, I'd leave amazing prose such as this for your eyes to feast upon each day:
Dear Diary,
I bought a new
handbag this afternoon with the girls at the mall today. It was on sale; 75% off. Sure,
the final price was $750, but think about it! IT WAS 75% off the
original $3000! If I had a boyfriend, he would be so proud of me for saving so much
money. But I'm too amazing and kick-arse to have a boyfriend in my life. /brushes hair back
Speaking a boyfriend, I
want a life with a man who will ignore me and take me for granted and
only pretend to be interested in me to get in my pants. I don't care if
he abuses my wallet and rarely comes home to spend time with me. If he cheats on me, even
better--that means I just have to step up my game.
I think I'll have a bacon burger and beer then masturbate to amazing pr0ns. I'm such a female!
Bullet-Bullet!
Probably
one of the worst music videos I've seen in recent years. It's as if
they shot this with a Playschool camcorder built for toddlers. And if
the "model dancers" aren't atrocious enough, the constant zooming of
the camera will make you queazy.
Oh, just wait for the cheesy green screen effects. And the acting? Topnotch!
