| | Party of One.
Come on, singles, raise your hands and celebrate life without a ball and chain. Just in time for the nonstop thrill ride that is
National Singles Week. Er, excuse me, National Unmarried and Singles
Americans Week. The holiday where Santa can't provide such a gift: freedom! Why you're STILL single, buddy 10 Reasons Why You're Better Off Being Solo:
1. You can make last-minute plans with your friends and stay out all night and not have someone call you every 15 minutes, wondering where you are, what you're doing, or who you're possibly doing.
2. You can lie on both sides of your bed and
have all the covers to yourself. Or extra room for that one night stand
you found at the club, half drunk, half clothed, fully slutty.
3. You can flirt with the opposite sex without
someone saying, " Who are you looking at?", followed by a splash of
refreshing Coke on your new shirt. Hey, you always needed it cleaned
anyway, right?
4. You can make your own decisions. Like. Right now.
5. You don't have to remember your
significant other's birthday, anniversary, dog's birthday, or hour they
got their first manicure. Save that precious memory for days you prefer
to remember. Like when you first barfed on your bestfriend after a
night of drunken debauchery.
6. You have no one to clean up after. That fat slob.
 Where's Waldo?
7. You can leave the toilet seat permanently up if you're a man, or permanently down if you're a woman. FREEDOM!
8. You can make a list of things you always wanted to do...and actually do them. No more "But you said you were gonna take me to (insert terrible idea of a place here) last week!"'s to prevent you from going.
9. You can listen to your favorite radio station in the car.
Cause nobody, and I mean nobody messes with your radio. So tune in for
today's #1 station for blazin' hip-hop and R&B, the station you
love best Hot 97, baby! (acceptss bag of money)
10. You can actually hold on to the remote control.
Why are you enjoying the single life?
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| | Posted 9/20/2007 12:58 PM - 92 views - 88 comments
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