| | A Lusty Experiment.
My female friends
would always complain to me about being hollered at on the streets,
receive lewd messages on Facebook or Myspace, or simply annoyed that
they were seen as just peices of meat. Being a guy, I couldn't relate,
so I went in for an investigation to educate myself. Half motivated at
the idea of seeing guys humilate hemselves for the sake of my website.
In
order to dive deep into the abyss of personal ads filled with vermin,
desperate guys, and STD-filled penises, I had to find the perfect spot
to place my experiment. And a Craigslist posting it was.
I
quickly whipped up a quick but semi-articulate advertisement, seeking
some "fun." I coupled it with a photo from my friend "Suki", and off we
went to posting the personal ad.
Lusty Asian Looking For Excitement - w4m - 22Reply to: pers-444470496@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-10-09, 4:25PM EDT
Hi! My name is Krystal, and I am a warm, sensual and sexy Asian student
in my early-20's. I have long black silky hair, brown eyes, velvety
soft skin and a very toned figure (5'5 and 115 lbs).
Born and raised in New York, I speak several languages and I am
cultured and modest. Now I am pursuing my academic degree and exploring
myself in New York City. I am always inspired by diverse cultures and
intrigued by adventures in life.
Spontaneous and smart, I enjoy an intelligent conversation and
the company of fine gentlemen. I practice yoga regularly and it keeps
me well balanced both physically and spiritually. Travelling, musicals,
culinary arts, and reading are some of my other hobbies. Being a girly
girl, I also enjoy sexy lingerie and exotic makeup.
Let my sparkling smile and sweet personality make you feel at
home. Surrender yourself to my gifted hands and allow my sensual
healing touch to melt away your stress and rejuvenate your life!
So if I've piqued your interest, send me an email about
yourself, interests, life, hobbies. Of course, a picture will be
required for any consideration.
-Krys
In summary:
- 65
replies to the ad within the first hour. Over 230 email replies to that
posting. In the first 24 hours. To all the girls who complain about not
being able to find a guy in NY, you're not looking hard enough! Or
maybe your face is just too fugg.
- The whole time, my
hand was shaking, hoping I wouldn't find a reply from a friend or
worse, their "member"! Thank god my eyes never came to see one.
- It
seems that every guy claims to be good looking; athletic; humorous;
open to new things; and knows how to treat a girl. Yeah, so was K-Fed.
That went far.
- I was offered a plane ticket to another
state, Broadway show ticket to see Lion King, hotel stays, a yacht
ride, enough wining and dining paid by the male to last me 3 years, and
"a good time".
- There is a really huge "yellow fever" outbreak on Craigslist.
- I saw enough pictures of cocks and balls to keep me and five future generations straight.
- For some reason a lot of chefs contacted me.
Here
are some quality standout and unedited replies that had me laughing until I popped
an eye vessel. If any girls received any replies from any of these
douches, you're not alone. My responses are in red.
Subject: how YOU doin?!?!
6'2" 190lbs hung!! Email when i pass the 1st test!!!  pic attached....
Hung? You're a keeper...
Subject: Lusty Asian Looking For Excitement - w4m - I Saw Your ad...Very Interested. Here's 10 good reasons why we should get together... If anything i hope it puts a smile on your face. [10-9 All boring points he brings up, trying to be cute]
1)
I'm good in bed. I have a nice size package and have been told it is
the perfect size on more than one occasion And I can use my tongue very
well too, but not in the way that a douche bag would use it. I'm
Casanova style vs. caveman style. Unless you like caveman style, which
i will happily oblige.
Arrogant much?
From: loucava****@aol.com
HELLO KRYSTAL HOW ARE YOU TODAY I LIKE WHAT I READ I THINK THAT YOU ARE A
PRETYLADY AND LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER. ASK ME ANYTHING AND I WILL ANSWER
YOU HONEST TRUTH HERE. I ENJOY TO TRAVEL AND GO OUT AND ENJOY NEW YORK OR WHERE
I MIGHT BE.. 
LEARN TO USE CAPS LOCK PROPERLY!
From: Darrell A. (Powerhouse 3000)
I tink your fake and a robot and if your not prove it
Incorrect protocol. Now transmitting to local dns server 232.839-433...
From: jason k.
All I can say is wow..:)
My name is Jason, I am wildly attracted to asian women. I am a
young adventurous 35 year old white male. I am not big on the online
chatting but I have attached a picture of myself for you. I am in a
teriffic job with a golf management company.
Looking foward to hearing from you
J.
Only Asian women? Better start learning how to use your golf clubs, you'll be needing to with that attitude for women.
From: nicelatincok@*****.com
My hobby is I like fuking, let's go
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
You readers should thank me in advance for censoring this photo.
That has to be the greatest hobby. Ever. I might actually start using that myself when asked by women.
From: JAMES******@aol.com
wanta
heip me with that and yes your little ass looks good .well lets get to
know each other so maybe we can have some fun. i'm james artist and
avid extreme biker im 37(but i've been told i look younger) 5'11" and
single but not clingy well more you ask.send a pic
Hats are your friend. So is rhinoplasty.
From: Peter L.
Dear Krystal,
I am a cute older physician in the Village......D/D free....love
the outdoors, movies, dining and travel...the usual....nice
guy......good heart.....Sincerely, Peter
"Older" might be an understatement.
From: Shy Fungi
Hi, I'm a good looking guy, swm, 27yo, fit/thin and tall, with plenty of pics, happy to share.
The
thing is...I'm a bit confused though....is this an ad for a no-strings
fun dinner/drinks/sex night or rather a massage/escort service? Please
don't take offense, it's this line that really threw me: "Surrender
yourself to my gifted hands and allow my sensual healing touch to melt
away your stress and rejuvenate your life!"
Please let me know.
Thanks
Have you ever posted personals online or anywhere else? If so, what is your (horror) story?
From: kevin l.
HELLO THERE MY NAME IS KEVIN 25 years old 5''11 170 PD BROWN EYE.
I GRADUATE FROM NYU. I'M A CAPRICORN.. I LOVE OUTDOOR EVENTS OUTGOING
PERSON. I DANCE TANGO AND SALSA. IM A VERY FUNNY GUY. I ALSO ENJOY
COOCKING AND PLAY SPORT LIKE FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL. I HAVE A ATHLETIC
BODY.. I ALSO LIKE TO GOING OUT DURING THE WEEKEND. AND HAVE FUN GET TO
KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS NOT ONLY BEAUTIFUL FROM OUTSIDE BUT THE INSIDE IS
WHAT REALLY COUNTS. IF YOU LIKE WAT YOU HEAR LET ME KNOW
ARE YOU SURE YOU GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL? LET ALONE COLLEGE?
From: Johnny R.
reply and i will send pic. you will not be
disappointed. like champagne?
You must win a lot of hearts with that last line.
From: Seabass***@aol.com
i'm 26 live in brooklyn i can cum to u or u can cum over here
love to eat pussy  let me know whats up  Not blunt at all, are we?
From:Blkad****@aol.com
Very
interested black 45 yr old man would love to meet you. I'm 6 ft tall,
245 lbs with a shaven bald head. Interested??? get back to me with more
details.45. You sure it's a "shaven" bald head and not just genetics?
From: Gaurav P. So, how much for a massage? $2 love you long time.
From:Hwoodon****@aol.com How are you. This is Rich, 26 yr old from Brooklyn, who loves
sensual loving foreplay and some discreet fun. I am 6'2 190 8'' and would
love to reach ecstacy with you.
RICH  This is kinda scary. The office he's sitting in looks just like my old desk at my previous job...
From:"JOHNNY SOLO" Hey
what's up this is SOLO from parkslope,bk I'm 5'10" 165lbs goodlooking
lightskinned jamaican/puertorican 28yo....I thought I'd send you some
explicit shots of what I'm working with...hopefully you can handle
it....if you like what you see get back to me whenever you an...lets
try to make this happen soon...I'm sure you won't be
dissappointed...hopefully I didn't scare you...lol... [Insert explicit photos here. And yes, I was frightened]
From: RoyNaz***@aol.com God i wish i was younger, so i could come there and lick you alllllll
UUUUUUUUUpp
Just like dogs and their own anuses?
From:Barrryof********@aol.com  I am a
former marine and a x army paratrooper... I have a BA and a MA
in history... I love to read and go to the beach... I work out 5
x a week and run 6 x a week I am 6 ft 185 and have a waist which is a
30. I am very buffed and extremely erotic ;sexual dominating: I
am mocha in color, very attractive and fit : very buffed and extremely open
minded : just over 9 1/2 I am a lot of fun ... I have
tired to send pix but for some reason the recipient does not
receive them e mail for pix
Anything else you'd like to say, Mr. McRoidrage?
From:"matthew hupert" you are perfect so delicious
great fourtwenty nicely hung very oral always horny upper east side free on tues wednesdays, day or night single dad.. other days and nights i can play, but i have my kid so i would need to host while he sleeps 
Do you also have to make sure to burp the baby and tuck the others in at night?
From:"Jim R" Lets do it. Best pick-up line, ever.
From: Bugsy********@aol.com La - ho - ma
hello
I am 6'2" 180 lbs
and well hung
I an intrigued by your skill of seduction
I am disease free
I love asian women, and I will satify your every
desire
you will need to use each and every yoga excercise, because I
am very creative if you like to orgasm over and over again, I will make it
happen for you
I will be your chocolate sex slave
touch me anyway you want, and I will touch you with my gifted
tongue
we can make love all night, and coversate
you have never felt pleasure like this
I'm not sure if I should be
offended by your obviously cheesy "nihaoma" or the photo you provided
of yourself counting monopoly money.
From: John J. Hello ! REAL PERSON HERE! To make sure YOU are, answer this for me....What was your favorite cartoon/show growing up?
So, I'm Latino,29, 5'9", athletic and intellectually curious.I'm just
looking for someone who wants long sessions and multiple positions. I
aim to please! Your posting caught my eye and I'm hoping you reply.
PS
I can host....have wine and a big place...see you soon ? 
Giggity-giggity! I see where you get your fashion sense from.
From: boricuanyc**** I want so pussy juice all over my face and more so if it is asian juice i have had a fantasy to eat asian pussy knowledge is power !!!!!
What say we just stuff a lychee or Asian pear in your mouth and call it "Asian juice"?
From: smiles
hi. normally i'm not into asian women, but something about you has got
my dick rock hard and throbbing to give it to you. let me know if
you'd like it.
Yes. I'd love it. That and the Black Plague.
|
You need to stop masquerading as women. Trying to learn the tricks of other guys isn't going to help your game any!