| | Nobel Prize Winner
Ladies and gentlemen, we live in a new era where things are constantly changing, technology is flourishing, and intelligence has grown beyond our imagination. But still, we’re not perfect: War, terrorism, joblessness which leads to homelessness. It's time that things change. And I’m here to contribute to that transformation. I’m here, to revolutionize the agricultural sector of our country this instant. How, you ask? After weeks of experimentation, days spent in the kitchen, and hundreds spent on production and overhead costs, I’ve developed what man has yearned for ages; ever-lasting plants.
So here I stand, proudly presenting my latest concoction:
By placing an everyday celery stalk into a peanut butter jar of any type (Honey provides more sugars) or brand (I prefer Skippy), you can have your plant last for ages. Forget those stupid Chia Pets® that last a measly 2 weeks which cost an arm and a leg. With this new product, hunger will soon be a thing of the past. It be long before Ethiopians reach the obesity status of this land of ours.
How does this work: Easy my friend. With this invention, Achems Razor comes to play. Achems Razor: All things being equal, the simplest explanation must be true.
With that in mind, my invention is quite simple to follow. The celery, now placed within a confined mold of peanut butter, is provided with a food source. Now, that peanut butter in turn uses the decayed celery as a covering to keep it moist and delicious for years to come. Then, from that point on, a cycle beings. Finding a source of light is preferred, but not necessary. The plastic jar which houses both the celery and peanut butter acts much like a greenhouse. The clear plastic then contains most of the heat and lets through the sunlight to create a perfect natural habitat for ants, small birds, and bees to thrive in.
Test sample #42 after 6 weeks of growth
(Some plants were destroyed due to hungry siblings)
Doctor tested, Cakalusa approved
Just 5 easy payments of only $59.99
S&H $120 (if Ebayer's can do it, why not me?)
Call: (516) Plant-Yum |
| | Posted 5/20/2004 12:48 PM - 28 views - 50 comments
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screw them chia-pets.. [though i did have a chia pet fro for a while... 
]
m.l.
