Sometimes, you just need someone to push into an oncoming train to be satisfied.
Hey you, with the suitcase, stop blocking my fricking view. I swear,
without fail, every morning on my commute to work through the …
Holly the HereticIntel has reported sightings of a young Korean girl hanging out in a Mexican locale. Photographic evidence has been noted. Here,
she seems to have a hold of some foreign object that creates a blue
aura…
Plantains + Asians + Wine = Super confused people.Mixing
various cultures within another is disastrous. The melting pot theory
can only go so far. Take for example, the latest social gathering. Plantains,
a well-known…
Tackle Football in the ghetto is the only football I know.Ol Dubya doing what he does best, screwing around.He
called me the night before, it was a Friday. I had no plans for the
following day, but that would change, a…
What your closest Chinese friend never told you about Chinese New Year.
You
people think it's all fun and games. Everyone seems to think we Chinese
are all happy and jolly during this time of year, but really, these…
Top Reasons Why Nobody Reads Your Blogsite:
1. You're not an attractive-looking female who likes posting naked pictures of herself.
Pretty damn obvious, if you ask me. [Not safe for work. You've been warned.]Ju…
Scented Bath Towels: Why did it take so long for me to come up with this?Dripping
wet, hot and steamy, panting from this steam-filled room, no it's not a
cheap porno; I just stepped out of the shower. Vigorously drying…
Pass the salmonella and e.coli, please!Dinner consisted of: raw beef, uncooked fish, lamb that could probably still yelp out a slight "bahh" if it were sliced a few hours later. Sound appetizing? Oh, I'm sure it does. In…
Chef and the City: Guest-starring Seductive Su and RickoryIt's
fun. Usually fun. Throw in a bit of getting lost, running around, and
being shoulder by oncoming traffic (overweight women), and that's your
guideline for…
Climbing up the walls, bypassing security, and leaving no trace.Stony
Brook University, a prestigious college where 90% of the students are
Asian, the Alumni are Asian, and faculty as well. It's a good thing I'm
not a…
Visiting Wonderland: The lesser known parts of Central Park.I saw my breath drifting away into the cool night with every exhale. There were fun-runs (groups of people running in packs), and dogs accompanying alongside. H…
Breaking news at Xanga: Does Chris get his hair cut? And when cut, that means 5mm left on the head? You decide now!
VOTEYES? NO?The fate of humanity rests in your hands
Rupaul had no shame and neither do I.
Oh, you sick, sick individuals out there. Humanity never ceases to
astound me. As many of my long time readers have noticed, my profile
picture wasn't what it used to be. It was a l…
You call it great literary works, I just want a drop of ether in my ear.
These pretentious arseholes who devote half their life studying the
works of Shakespeare can kiss my buttocks. I hated Shakespeare in
grad…
Finals week at college: only shopping with a female can be more time consuming.
Taking my math final. I've never studied for a test since 2nd grade
(Cakalusa fact #72), and considering I haven't…
You can never have enough of Manhattan.Covering
downtown Manhattan in 8 hours is no easy task. Even a tour guide would
stare in amazement the adventure my friend, Ais and I had undertook.
Absolutely astonishing to say…
She's so sad.
My phone hit its last call.
So my ex-boss was tossing out some garbage, cleaning up his desk. I
looked in the can (garbage man can!), and saw a shimmering, shiny,
metallic object. "Whoa" I
exclaimed. "You'…
Being philosophical can only get you so far.
Vince Lombardi and Paris Hilton have one thing in
common--no, not that they both love balls--they are both trailblazers
in creating memorable quotes. You can go far in li…
A perfect way to add more inches to your waist and stay cool about it.
If the American diet were any more downtrodden and faulty, we'd be
better off resorting to prehistoric diets, consisting of raw reptilian
meat…
You want 5 random facts about me? Screw you. I'll give you 22.
I'm currently suing NBC, due to their show "Law and Order" infringing upon trademarked names for my left and right fists.
Ricebunny once approa…
Bastardly Things to Do As a Parent.It's inevitable. Whether you're from the most Christian family (only after marriage!), or one-child-only China, you're going to have kids--if you're from the durrty-durrty souff, or the…
The MTA transit strike we all love to hate.
I never got around to posting my experience with the New York City
transit strikes. The experience was awkward, but everyone seemed to
adjust accordingly. Just like the gr…
Brother's house warming.
How do you break in a new crib? With alcohol. Plenty of it. Top it all off with beer pong and you've got the job done.
What I call "the vault."
View from his…
How to dance hip-hop/reggae/at the club in 3 easy steps.
You can thank me later when you're all winning America's top dancer on FOX next season. Seriously though, I swear, every fricking Asian under 30 dances in this fa…
Skiing Hunter Mountain. I call it false advertising--I didn't recieve a bow and arrow or a shotgun. Thus
begins the second ski session of this season. The un-wintery mix of
rain and sleet made the first four hours of s…
Too much PDA. Comparing the Blackberry and Treo650.
Here at the office (see, I do apply myself at work sometimes!), besides slacking, we do quite a lot of work (hey,
chewing requires energy!). All kidding aside, I'…
Bill Gates and Steve Jobs don't care about Black people.
Here we are, recently landing in the year 2006, and we still
can't get out of this "White for life!" supremacy state of mind. If it
wasn't George Dubya show…
The best way to spend New Years--not remembering any of it.As
my wise professor used to say, "If you're not wasted, your night is."
New Years eve holds no exception. Forget the AA meeting shenanigans
for a brief momen…
Meow
Sumo wrestlers to practice with Heat? Don't laugh, it just might happen.
OK, we get it, Pat Riley. You think Shaq is getting unfairly abused
whenever he touches the ball. You think the refs offer no
help, even though …
True
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