Cakalusa Sez: Learn Chinese.
If there's one Chinese character you should learn, this is it:
Probably
the most important character in the Chinese language, especially if you
see it on a door. I learned the …
MyFlaw. Probably NSFW.Did you hear about the brief MySpace security
breach? It momentarily allowed even
protected profiles to be viewed. Someone saved all the pictures (shifty eyes) and
made a 17GB (read: lots of p…
A Healthy Relationship.
"Ugh!" She lets out a frustrating vent. "Now I remember why I hate
blogging!" She slams the lid of her laptop to a deafening close. And
she wonders why her computers keep breaking. "I QUIT!" …
Recap of a Productive Work Day.-10:15AM I just inhaled 3 (large) cups of tea. I want to see how long I can hold my pee for.-11AM We
had a fire drill today at work. It brought back fond memories of grade
school. Everyon…
You have 3.46 seconds to decide: Boy or Girl?The vote is on now! Another 3.1 seconds to change your mind.Answer will be revealed in the next post.Have someone who you think has a gender confusion issue? Send in a photo a…
Worst Video, Ever.Degrading Xanga Videos of the Day (New Feature!)I only hope to sing as well as this guy.
Honestly, I wish I could say that ear-screeching sound is
the Chinese language, but it's not. It's just a rein…
SUPER DUPER SCARY VIRUS ALERT!You should be alert during the next few
days. Do not open any message with a subject called "Important
Team Meeting Proposal" or "(Your Name), I'm in jail, please send bail"
regardless of…
Heath Ledger Day.Since there was such a huge backlash from yesterday's comment about H-Ler (My new Hollywood name for Heath Ledger), I want to apologize, deep down from the bottom of my dark heart...for not thinking of …
Drunky Monkey.I can approximate how many
times I've vomited due to binge drinking in one hand. I know you wanted
to know that little tidbit. It's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I
take pride in destroying clean and…
An Unbiased Review of the Film Cloverfield.
Black Sounds.I always thought
Blacks who made sound effects and had great control over their vocal
were only in movies. That has been debunked in my office. The new hire
has the most bipolar personality that switches …
The First Annual Semi-formal Underwear Dinner Party.
Created after much thought (or alcohol), a friend
and I had this amazing idea where we should host a dinner party. But not
just any dinner party, a spicy one. One t…
Return of Snacky McSnackDear Sir Snacks-A-Lot,We have
run into each other a handful of times--each passing moment more absurd
and unbelievable than the last. I don't like you and you don't like
(actually, I'm assuming…
My Site. My Sight. Unofficial Xanga AdvertisementAmazing Working Conditions.Me: Hey, just uploaded the F250.Team Leader: Go truck yourself!(thinks for 15 seconds)Me: I have no witty retort for that.Team Leader: F(250) U!…
An Experiment with Salvia.No, not saliva. But I could spit in your burger if you wish.Before SalviaAfter SalviaHer: i remember i was asking you what you were trippin on and you just kept laughingMe: I LAUGHED? i thought …
Paying For Air. The New Apple Macbook Air.
So the new Apple Macbook debuted today. The Macbook Air. Thinnest
laptop in the world. And how do you go about creating such a hit? Like
Steve Jobs said, "thinnovation". In…
the mourning routine.Wake up. Wake up. I don't want to. My back hurts. Okay, up I go.No. Wait. Earth is still cool. Five more minutes. Whoosh! Brr.Cellphone on.Press the power. Hard drive on.Hard
on. Try to pee into the…
Korean Guys.Don't take things seriously, guys. Srsly.Her (Korean female): you think if i make a video about korean american guys it'd be too offensive/ethnocentricMe: uhh depends how you make it and about whatHer: i was …
Occupational Tools.Many have been wondering what I do at work--besides doing your mother, I'll let these photos speak a little for me.I design/drive real-life "Transformers" all day. I'm also Steve Jobs's nephew and was …
Crank Dat Failed Joke.Ever hear a joke so
stupid yet it makes you laugh enough to be spread onto others? What
happens when it fails and never goes as planned? An example of how the
joke is supposed to go:"Hey, you hea…
Viet Girls Are Sl*ts.I tossed the newspaper to her on the table, leaving the article
that I wanted her to read open face. She scans over it quickly, her
face furrowing with each sentence. She slowly reads aloud to me a…
The Top 7 Hottest Xangans Contest.Some of you have been complaining that I'm not shallow and/or superficial enough. And you're right.
Phallic much?In no particular order.Meunonomolady_kim0tee (Albeit, hides most pictur…
You have 3.46 seconds to decide: Boy or Girl?The vote is on now!Congrats to Khe.See, I do have a sensitive side! Now where are all the "aww-ing" women who are supposed to flock to me like birds on worms? Plenty of Cakalu…
Don't Quote Me On This.Why is it that
people under extreme stress, depression, or a melancholy state, use
quotes and song lyrics of others to portray how they feel? Or post some
whack-ass emo cartoon of poorly drawn s…
A Public Service Announcement.
Dear Everyone Not From New York,
It
has come to my attention that a large number of you have never been to
the great state of New York. What a shame! You are really missing out
on …
Subway Staredown.
Sometimes when I'm on the subway or see a sitting down at a restaurant,
I will stare at a stranger and say to myself, "I know you can read my
mind. I'm onto you." It usually results in them quickly…
A "Take It Easy" Friday.
At work, half of my team is divorced. All of which have children. And
today, the team leader (who is also divorced) mentioned that he broke
up with his girlfriend on Christmas. At least I ha…
Asian Drivers: Die!Now I know why they
call it the Hyundai Accent. Because they not only marketed this model
of car to people who don't know how to drive, but also speak proper
English. Namely Asians. So sad. So true…
Word of the Wise.She and I sat there
during the friday evening shuffle. An after work meet, enjoying some
meat at the corner bistro. I carved into my filet mignon like a plastic
surgeon, delicately with deliberate str…
You have 3.46 seconds to decide: Boy or Girl?
The vote is on now!Challenge #18STOP THE ASIAN MADNESS!
True
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