Well, I'm pretty sure I've gotten a good start on raising my own blinger, even if she's only 10 1/2 months old at the moment. She certainly considers it her job to keep Mommy occupied, and she takes that job very seriously. She isn't pleased to find the computer or dirty dishes or meal preparations trying to do her job for her. And she has pretty strong opinions about the trash that she wants to put in her mouth, the magazine that she wants to shred, and whether it's time to go inside or not.

But you know, her opinions started pretty early -- she decided on the way home from the hospital that she didn't like her car seat. And in spite of necessary and regular car seat use, she still cries in her car seat, especially when she's getting tired. She can cope better and longer now that she's older, but her opinion hasn't changed.

And of course, given my life, and my child, I'm perfectly willing to join in your rationalization, if that's what it is.

My feeling, based on years of observation and experience :), is that everyone parents based on their unique personality and that children respond to that parenting based on their own unique personality.  (Hopefully the two unique personalities are harmonious!)  Because I function much better in a scheduled, predictable environment I raised my children in a scheduled, predictable environment.  This was not because I agree with Mr. Ezzo, in fact in many respects I very much disagree with him, but because I am a better parent in that environment.  Even with my scheduling, my daughter didn't sleep through the night on a consistent basis until she was over one (do to her own unique personality) and one day at eleven months old she decided that she would have nothing to do with nursing ever again.  I tried doing everything to change her mind but she wouldn't be budged.  So much for Mr. Ezzo's promises (which I didn't bank on anyway)! 

As far as demand feeding leading to demanding children goes, I have decided that all children whether scheduled or not are demanding due to their sin nature. I think it may be the parent's personality (or the day the parent is having) that determines whether they believe the child's behavior is demanding or not.  I think the child's unique personality comes into play also.  My daughter actually needs to play by herself for a while each day.  It used to concern me that at two she would go into her room by herself and play for an hour while my older son would follow me around from room to room all day long.  (I know you are envious but the negative thing is that I now EXPECT my daughter to play by herself and not need me so I started picking up some work on the side and I feel guilty for not playing with her like I did with her brother.)  I believe I parented both children the same way and yet they came out so different.

By the way, when do you have the time to write such long disortations on your life.  My quick responses take me forever to formulate :)

I think, as you implied, there are different types of demanding--demand for food vs. demand for attention, although I suppose they amount to the same thing! I strongly disagree with Ezzo, but I definitely do not play with my children all day long, nor do I desire to--I feel guilty sometimes that I don't, but on the positive side they play well independently and with each other, and when I do sit down and play with them, it is nice for all of us. I think it's great that you play with them and are willing to answer their questions (and I've seen you in action)--I suppose I wish I was more that way, and something I often pray for is the ability to truly delight in my children. Still, I turn to the video/computer game/etc. probably more than I should. You're a great mom, Rachel!

I think you're right, Lynette.  There is definitely room for lots of types of personalities in parenting, and lots of different types of parenting turn out great kids.  And even though I don't like the Ezzos, I still get my babies into routine fairly early (it's just not at all like the Ezzos' schedule).  And I think routines make sure lots more things get accomplished and help kids feel secure.

I think what I was trying to say orginally was that I understood the word "demanding" as the Ezzos used it to mean sinful (i.e., selfish), but being demanding as in wanting attention and to be with your mom/dad is, I think, just natural, and the way God wants us to learn.  So, in that sense, it isn't wrong, although based on personalities, some kids are more so than others (maybe boys need more attention :) ).

And I'm pretty sure I was exaggerating by saying my kids want attention all day long--they do occupy themselves for periods of time, and that time definitely grows as they get older--so I have moments of time to myself, as is evident by all this blogging.  I thnk your kids are turning out great, Katie, so you've probably found a good balance between playing with them and letting them entertain themselves.

Hey, FriendinMD, I like what you had to say. It feels freeing to allow people to be unique. I don't even really like to talk about my parenting methods or lack of methods, or whether my baby sleeps through the night (nope), because I'm afraid other parents are just waiting to pass judgment. It certainly seems like a lot of people have opinions about the "right" way to parent, and I'm sure I fall short of most of them. People are very free with parenting advice, and I tend to nod, smile, do my own thing, and feel judged.

I'm not sure how I missed this one! I think you are a great parent, Rachel!

I believe that our kids want to spend time with us because that is what they need - time with us. Not 24 hours a day of our time (as they get older, anyway - I have a 7.5 month old, and it sure as heck feels like she wants my attenion 24/7 at the moment), but lots of it. That's how they learn. And how they develop a sense of themselves as worthwhile/important/creative/interesting people.

What a wonderful gift you are giving your children by meeting those needs when they are little!

And as you said - as children get older, they need less and less of our time. I think the more we can meet our children's needs, the more capable they become of meeting their own needs as they grow older and mature.

That said, my youngest is napping and my older three are watching a movie that Katherine received yesterday for her b-day, so....

Well, Lucia, I'm sure you weren't including me in that lump of people who freely give you advice because I certainly don't have strong parenting opinions (ha!).  But it's best to nod, smile, and do your own thing without feeling condemned, but maybe that can only come with experience.  Or maybe it never totally comes to us people-pleasers.

I like the thought, Carolyn, that meeting our kids' needs now teaches them how to meet their needs later.  Good perspective!  (How do you make those great smiley faces in the comment section?)