Read every one of these to the very end!  Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one.........IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, specially the thought at the end.

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.

12. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla)! (or strawberry)

13. A long distance phone call.

14. A bubble bath.

15. Giggling.

16. A good conversation.

17 The beach

18. Finding a 20 note in your coat from last winter.

19. Laughing at yourself.

20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

21. Running through sprinklers.

22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

24. Laughing at an inside joke.

25. Friends.

26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

30. Playing with a new puppy.

31. Having someone play with your hair.

32. Sweet dreams.

33. Hot chocolate.

34. Road trips with friends.

35. Swinging on swings.

36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and
drinking your favorite toddy.

37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without
feeling stupid.

38. Going to a really good concert.

39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger

40. Winning a really competitive game.

41. Making chocolate chip cookies.

42. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

43. Spending time with close friends.

44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.

45. Holding hands with someone you care about.

46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or
bad) never change

47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.

48. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired
present from you.

49. Watching the sunrise.

50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another
beautiful day.

****************************************************************************

 HOW TO STAY YOUNG by George Carlin

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind
is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. Let the tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what  you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to
a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

**************************************************************
 
How To Tell The Sex Of A Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked.
 
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
 
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked.
 
"How can you tell?"
 
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

 ***********************************************************

THIS IS A DETECTIVE STORY SO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION.
Three elderly ladies are excited about their first Yankees baseball game.
They smuggled a bottle of Jack Daniels into the game. The game is real
exciting and they are enjoying themselves drinking Jack Daniels mixed
with soft drinks. Soon they realize that the bottle of Jack Daniels is
almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go. Using the clues given,
what inning is the game in and what is the status of the game?
 
 
Think!
 
 
Think some more.....
 
 
 
You're gonna love it ........
 
 
 
 
And the Answer is:
 
 
 
It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded!
  :  )         :  )            :  )       :  )

************************************************************ 

LADIES' NIGHT OUT

Two women go out one weekend without their husbands.
As they came back, right before dawn, both of them
drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed the
only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk,
they stopped and decided to go there anyway.

The first one did not have anything to clean herself
with, so she took off her panties and used them to
clean herself and discarded them.
The second not finding anything either, thought "I'm
not getting rid of my panties..." so she used the
ribbon of a flower wreath to clean herself.

The morning after, the two husbands were talking to
 each other on the phone, and one says to the other:

“We have to be on the look-out, it seems that these
 two were up to no good last night, my wife came home
 without her panties…”

The other one responded: "You're lucky, mine came home
with a card stuck to her ass that read, "We will never
forget you".
*************************************************************

Forgive your Enemies
The preacher in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his
subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive
their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied he
harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question.  This time
he received a response of about 80 percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured
for another 15 minutes and repeated his question. With all thoughts now
on Sunday dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the rear.

"Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any."

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-three."

"Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a
person can live to be ninety-three, and not have an enemy in the
world."

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly
turned around and said: "It's easy, I just outlived the bitches."

*************************************************************

Never Too Old For A Tetanus Shot!

This old man in his eighty's got up from his chair and was putting on his coat.
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
She said, "Why, are you sick?"
"No" he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new  Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and started  putting on her coat and he said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If your going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot!!

*********************************************************************

WOMEN WHO READ

A couple go on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The
husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out by herself. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a forest policeman in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, thinking, isn't that obvious?

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment, so I'm going to have to take you
in....."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the policeman.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment," she replies.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also
think.
**************************************************************                      

That's all for today, folks!!  I hope you enjoy these little laughs.....