Good Morning!!  Long time no blog.  Been kinda busy or just didn't have anything to share.....but, now I do.

As most of you are aware, I am not currently working but, during Christmas break (well, it would've been Christmas Break had I been working), I found an opening for a Registrar in the Poway School District, which is just outside of San Diego.  I applied & got a letter last week that I had been selected to take the test.  YIPEE!!  It is Tuesday, at 8am.....I am so jazzed about this.  Please say a little prayer for me, I need all the help I can get and this would be an excellent school district to work in, I would not mind the commute.  Thanks in advance.

So, as many of you are also aware, my son is visiting his Grandparent's & the whole family (including his Auntie Snoozer) for 5 days.  He left Friday night.  Originally, I had wanted his Aunt & Uncle to pick him up at the airport as his flight was very late (arrived in Oakland at 11:35pm) & they live very close to the airport (well, a lot closer than any other family members do).  But, nooooooo, they were told that Anthony would be picking up Ryan along with other members of the whole family.....so, imagine my surprise when Ryan tells me that only his cousins, Andrea & Andrew (no, they aren't twins) & Andrea's "boyfriend" will be picking him up....what happened to his Father??  I understand about the Grandparent's but.......anyway, then to add to it, he wasn't even going to go to his Grandparent's that 1st night, instead he stayed at Andrea's apartment.  I wasn't thrilled with this news but, I am a firm believer in picking your battles......& Ryan is 24 years old, college educated & perfectly capable of expressing himself if necessary.  Didn't stop me from worrying, though.

So, on Saturday, around 5pm or so I get a phone call from Ryan!!  He had a few minutes to talk & wanted me to know that he got there ok & Andrea, Andrew & Brandon picked him up.  They had a fine time driving the hour and a half to Andrea's apartment....where they didn't stay up much later as Ryan had worked that day & he was pretty tired.  They went to his Grandparent's around 11am.  He said that he was going with Andrea & Andrew to the Skandia, to meet up with a few friends & play miniature golf or the arcade games.  He was having fun.  He met his Great Grandfather for the 1st time & he really enjoyed talking with him.  His Grandpa still looked the same only a little older & his Grandma was the same just a lot skinnier, but she was still running around like he remembered. 

It has been 12 years since he has visited his family, half of his life actually.  His Grandmother has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, although she is doing well on Chemo, better than anticipated.  To be honest, I am the driving force behind this visit.  I bought his tickets for him, new luggage which he needed anyway, but also warm clothes to wear....Ryan is a Southern California Boy, where it really doesn't get all that cold, certainly not like Northern California.....that was one of the 1st things he said was that it was a lot colder there then here &, for the majority of his life....when he DID visit his Dad, it was always in the summer, where it is just as hot there as here. So, he was in for some eye-opening experiences from the get-go. 

For a while, Ryan wanted to cancel this trip.  His Dad was putting some unwarranted pressure on him, which I already blogged about earlier.  I saw how conflicted he was, and I know how nervous he was when he boarded his flight.....but, so far so good.  I want him to have a good experience, I want him to have this family, warts & all since I don't have any family, really, to share with him anymore.  All my family has passed on & Ryan needs to be connected to his family.  Who among us has not had a dysfunctional family?? 

When I first got involved with this family, I was 14 years old.  I thought they were fun to be around, we always did things, there was lots of family to hang out with.  I recall with pleasure when Anthony's cousins came from Texas to visit, I especially like his Aunt Ida & his cousin Martha, so much.  Of course, I also loved his cousin Roseanne, we used to have so much fun together......so, while I may not like this lifestyle (seems a few of them have addiction problems) & we won't even mention the hurt both of us have experienced from this family.....this is a time of reflection, for many of them.....including Ryan.

So, he will be home Tuesday night, it will be interesting to hear his take on "his" family, I know he wanted to discuss some things with his Dad but wasn't sure if this would be the appropriate time....seems Ryan's memory is quite keen & he remembers things from his youth, regarding his Dad's treatment of him, ......the broken promises......the choices his Dad made, etc.  Boy, would I love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation??!!

But, he will be ok & I need to stop worrying about him.  I was sick all day Saturday until I got his phone call.  I can't recall worrying about him this much when he would go to visit when he was just a child.....I think I worry more now that he is an adult because I can't control anything anymore.  heaven help me if I can't learn to let go.....I do ok most of the time, really, I do.

In the meantime, I need to get to bed.  I have the hardest time getting to sleep at a decent time anymore......is that my age creeping up on me, or what?? 

Have a great week!!

Can anyone explain to me why midway in my blog all of sudden it starts being a different color.....& when I try to change it, it won't change??  This is the 3rd time this had done this, am I doing something to cause this??