oh, I have the best cold shortener: it's a zinc nasal gel called Zicam. it's great.

next time you look up at the clock and see that it's 3 a.m., go to bed.

A roomate in college heard that if you grind up onions, put them in one of those nasal spray things and squirt in up your nose, that it will cure your cold in like a day.  He said it worked, really well actually, but he said he would never do it again.  He said the cold was better then onion juice in the nose.