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CoffeeRevolutionary
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Name: Ariel
Gender: Female
Interests: I like drawing, writing, coffee, music (original, right?), the French language, psychology and sociology, warm slippers, and people watching (in an only slightly creepy way)
Expertise: Writing on birthday cakes, nail polish, and of course, coffee
Occupation: Deerfield Bakery Employee
Industry: Bakery?
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/24/2006
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| I'm in Boston!
It's pretty much awesome. I haven't done too many crazy things yet, but I've been super busy.
Classes started today. 8 o'clock statistics is torture. Abnormal psychology next.
My roommate is actually really nice so thats good.
I'm really really really glad to get away from Chicago, considering my boy fiasco last Wednesday.
It was bad.
I was supposed to meet with the ex-box and talk, but he basically thought that it was supposed to be a booty call, and yeah, it ended badly.
I haven't even talked to Mark about it, because he usually makes me feel better when stuff like that happens, but I'm afraid he'll be so disappointed in me for even agreeing to meet with ex. He gave me this whole pep talk that morning about not answering the phone when he called, and I said I wouldn't and then I went and screwed the asshole.
I'm a moron, I really really am.
No baggage in Boston, should be a good thing. | | |
| You know what?
I'm having a really good hairday, and it is totally wasted on this town.
I never have good hairdays.
I usually have some sort of psycho-nappy curls sprouting out of my head. Like I stuck my finger in an electric socket.
But no, today my hair is freaking amazing.
And I have no boys to show off for.
I'm meeting with the ex-box tomorrow though to 'talk', so maybe my hair will still be awesome then, so he'll feel really bad about himself.
Saturday then, I'm leaving for Boston University.
I'm scared!
I haven't packed at all yet.
I think I might be too dumb for college.
I'm too bored to stay home.
I can't handle so much free time.
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| It's weird, I've been thinking about it, and I don't think I've ever actually kissed a boy. I've let plenty of boys kiss me, but I don't think I've ever been attracted enough to any of them to make a move myself. I kind of just sit there like an inflatable doll, except with no boobs. Also, I've never had a serious boyfriend. This leads to misunderstandings, because guys tend to ask "have you been in a serious relationship before?" when they really mean "are you a virgin?" I wish people would just say what they mean. I'm too lazy to clarify.
I don't know why I only hook up with guys who annoy me. Most of the guys I could actually enjoy being with are strictly unattainable. They're either 11 years older than me or they have been with the same girl for like three years.
I think I might just have an aversion to reality.
Once when I got stuck staring at a stranger's ceiling, I got bored and pretended that I was in a movie. I imagined it was a John Water's movie, and I was played by Johnny Depp, wearing a pink angora sweater, and the guy was Ricki Lake. The guy looked kind of offended when he noticed me giggling. I figured I would just make it worse if I explained why I was laughing.
I have issues.
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| Being bummed out is interesting.
My brother kept popping into my room this weekend while he was home, yelling "WHO DOES DEPRESSION HURT!?"...
And then I had to yell back "EVERYONE!" and then he'd just leave...
It was like Marco Polo on Cymbalta and meth.
I bought a harmonica! I can play Friday I'm in Love, Landslide, Across the Universe, and Hallelujah. Still not Mary Jane's Last Dance, though not for lack of trying.
Been listening to a lot of Billie Holiday, so I guess that's my emotional state in a nutshell.
I really hate my inability to stay angry with a person. As soon as I talk to him, poof, all the anger just dissolves. And you know, he really doesn't deserve my forgiveness.
If anything, what's been helping me with that is this passage from a memoir we read in English last year, My Traitor's Heart, by Rian Malan:
"If you loved you were vulnerable, and if you were vulnerable you were weak, and if you were weak in Africa, you got fucked, and fucked again, and again until you could no longer stand it." ... "To live anywhere in the world, you must know how to live in Africa. The only thing you can do is love, because it is the only thing that leaves light inside you, instead of the total, obliterating darkness."
So there you go. Yeah, I forgive you. You hurt me, and I'm hurting still, but I'm not angry at you for it. I don't want to punish you for it anymore.
See, I can sort of be mature. I don't even want to fill his car with dog crap anymore.
Even though I think it would be really funny. Especially if I put a post-it note on the dashboard that said "DUMPED"
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