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CrossedEyedSauron
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Name: Sauron
Interests: Your soul, enslaving, creating new minions, gardening. The list could go on, really.
Expertise: Killing and advancing my evil design for Middle Earth
Occupation: Dark Lord
Industry: Empire Building.
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/5/2006
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| Introducing a New Designer Line in EvilAllow us to introduce to you the latest in the designer world of evil. We must say that my Chief Architect of Evil Engineering and Minion Design out did herself yet once again. We are almost positive that this will create the next fad in minion design.
 Here we have Chariot Zombie Pony for the Greater Art of Doom. As you can see, she's sporting a new kind of evil designed for those days when you want to make the statement "deadly scary and not afraid to flaunt it."
 Lady Bloodshot Lovely is seen here wearing nothing but what will take you out of this life and bring you into the next. She helps you lure in your prey while making the statement "never will you resist my kind of evil."
Last, but curtianly no least, we have Badooga Jungle Pony Who Crushed Bad Chinese Paintings. Badooga Jungle Pony, for short, displays her rugged strength in this skimpy orc skin number. Whenever you want to say "Fear me for my unsurmountable strength and grace" she is the right Pony for you.
Now, these are for Our own personal use right now, but within the next couple years We will be getting them ready for mass production. At which time, you will be notified of the potential purchase.
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| The Dr. Phil Center is a proven success!! Yesterday alone, our lovely menions managed to break the wills of three school children, five house wifes, a CPA, and eight elderly ladies. Wowzers!! At this rate, we'll have their souls before bedtime, which is usually around 8:30, except, lately, my other half has been staying up late.
We're thinking about commissioning out some new minions. Hanzel, our chief minion architect, came by yesterday with some plans. Oh, they're absolutely wonderful! I was just telling myself how excited we are about them! They will be something completely unlike anything you've ever seen before, and if all goes according to plan, they'll be the last thing you see!!
Evil is just so much fun. :D
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| Busy TimesBeen VERY busy. Can't wait for the horrifying results!!
OO, and myself and I just finished the installment of the Dr. Phil center. It is our newly renovated torture chamber designed especially for the easily manipulated! It's only been functional for a week now, but the results so far are very exciting. It's fun being an evil warlord... | | |
| *Sigh*
I don't think people really understand it, sometimes. The drive for world domination, total control over all that is, the ruthless killing of thousands... the stuff of life. The stuff of OUR life, at any rate. You people think that WE kill and cause world havoc because WE like horror. No, WE pillage because WE like ME. Think of US as the child who never stopped loving presents - all WE really want is Christmas all year 'round. Is that wrong? Well, perhaps if you're Muslim... but strictly targeting a US population - is that so wrong?
Dr. Phil often gives words of encouragement - to love yourself. Now, WE are not saying that these are good words of encouragement for you, necessarily. But WE are saying that it is good to love US as we love US. WE love OURSELVES so much that WE'RE willing to pillage and kill and take over the world for a personal gift of great worth.
Love is a wonderful thing - don't be afraid of it. Embrace OUR darkness and learn to appreciate OUR evil with much misery. Misery is, as you know, the most outward appearance of love. | | |
| 10 Things to Promote World CatastropheAlways drive with your eyes closed.
Always make sure your knives are sharp by testing them on other people.
If you see someone smile, slap them.
Become an advocate for the KKK.
Chop down at least one tree a week.
Develop the habit of snarling.
Burn any book that contains the words nice, kind, or happy.
Sell nuclear weapons at New Year´s and The Fourth of July.
Become a minion of EvilChrisRusso.
Become a minion of CrossedEyedSauron.
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