Ages: 0-4
You better be adorable
(Bonus points for not crying)
You better start crawling.
You better Start walking.
You better start talking.
You definitely better learn how to use the bathroom. (What? You're a free spirit? No time to stop to go to the bathroom? TOO BAD)
Ages 5-10
learn to color in those lines
Learn to write
learn to spell
learn to behave
It's time to learn basic math . (you'll hate it)
learn cursive ( you'll only use it while they are teaching it to you)
You're old enough to walk to school or use the bus ( because your parents are lazy or work a lot)
Pack your own lunch.
Take that ridiculous sex education class ( because let's face it, some of you will grow up to be hoochies, Ya nasties)
you just learned everything you will need for life.
10-15
Time for deodorant
You have 1 year of innocence left (maybe less)
learn to socialize
learn to deal with mean people (they will make fun of you)
learn to be fake
learn to deal with adults (they can be bitchy)
You'd better start dating someone ( but not of the same sex)
Don't be a loser
Dress the way everyone else does
become and a 'young' adult
become an amazing student
Be optimistic
Have tons of friends
Get into a good highschool
We know you have raging hormones ( and guys, you're like dogs...only one thing on your mind from 15 On (maybe earlier)
15-18
learn to drive
Date some more.
Have some random sex.
Go to parties
Get drunk
Do drugs (they make you cool!!!!!)
You'd better be a Goth, Emo, Prep, Hippie, or Gangsta (don't you dare make it hard for us to judge you!)
Make good grades
We expect you to get into trouble ( but you better not!)
Damn, stop riding the bus and get a car. loser.
Work a 40 hours a week, and still complete your homework.
Pass all of those AP tests! ( your teacher didn't teach you? We don't care! just pass them)
Score high on that ACT
Get scholar ships
Go to an Ivy league college, and pay for it on your own.
Become and adult ( that's right. just like that whoosh you're an adult)
Comments (2)
WOT?!! No no no! Anything BUT drugs!!!
The 15-18 part is the funniest! By the way, I didn't do drugs during that period.