addiction.
Emotionless./Heartless./Careless./Fearless -------> Little Me. Oh little child...sixteen, make a wish - blow out your candles
sneaking in - sneaking out
ignore alarm-clocks
let's be late being late turns into somthing else
lies, lies, lies
love the loveless Do you smoke pot? take LSD? Nodugs?
drug-test
lies lies lies....truth. oopsy-daisy! (lost my money)
lost my mind
reading, writing,
in-patient/out-patient
time for your psychiatrist appointment young lady
this pill should wake you up/oh, this one is to help you sleep feeling sad? ...here, try this one. dont know how im feeling walking out, leaving things
curtains, sun comes up what day is it?
woke up with beauty in my bed
drug-binge
roll a cigarette
wash my face dont know what happend in between
kissing, undressing
self-discovery found somthing that made me never want another something that would make it so that nothing matters life outside school talk talk, no one can realate
no money
skin and bones
teeth grinding
teeth chattering
sleepless nights posters cover holes in walls
screaming, yelling, hits. try pacing to keep awake "i'm done feeling like a skeleton no more sleep walking dead" eyes blur eyes rain
laugh
swear
fight
bruises on my legs
nosebleeds cuts wont heal
get money, make money.
pick up
hang up...over and over
ringing phones
ringing ears
he crys, i cry
running for busses shoplifted goods trip to a friends nicotine nic nic nic bathroom..mirrior pupils, I can see them dialating dont know who i am lost somone crycrycry popped another pill swallowed half my stash hes not coming back crash crash crash missing somone come-downs fevers thinking thinking, blank. black outs, pass outs windows wide open on cold winter nights dont need company got voices in my head insanity weight loss obsessions broken jaw im big, im small counting on that camera that hangs round my neck but it won't ever remember what I choose to forget color change, pale yellow all alone, need to be alone nealing over the toilet bowl pain in my side I pray I dont die Im a Hypocrite try to find some source of light try to name one thing I like used to have such a longer list cant talk, cant explain myself 
Last night: "Everyone is worried about you." But, why? The worst is over. I don't want to hide who I am. My past has brought me here...to this current point in my life. I don't crave comfort - attention - praise - discomfort - rumors - guilt - shame - I want to feel the warmth of love from those who still somehow have managed to love me. I feel as though I have been through enough so far in life to distinguish the good from the bad/the positive from the negative/ the strong from the weak/ the generous from the heartless/ the lies from the truth/ the judgemental from the open-minded. With all this said, I feel a satisfying sense of comfort within a home i've built inside of my very own flesh, to be content with one's self is all that is needed to live, to love and to be loved. | 
