Beer Flys.........
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint
of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz
down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another
pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his
fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it
out!"

Costume party.......
A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what
costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late
for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom,
completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots.
"Where is your costume?" the husband asked.
"This is it," replied his wife.
"What the heck kind of costume is that?" asked the husband.
"Why, I am going as Puss and Boots," explains the wife. "Now hurry and
get your costume on."
The husband went upstairs and was back in about two minutes. He also was
completely naked except he had a rose vase slid over his penis.
"What the heck kind of costume is that?" asked the wife.
"I am a fire alarm," he replied.
"A fire alarm?" she repeated laughing.
"Yes," he replied. "In case of fire break the glass, pull twice and I
come."