Weblog
Monday, April 28, 2008
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A Bookless University
There’s a rumor going around that my school plans to rid itself of all printed books and literature in the next 25 years. Somehow I doubt it’s true, but the hypothetical is funny to think about. The transition would just leave too much space. It would be gratifying to see my alma mater blossom into the least claustrophobic school in the country, but that’s about the only foreseeable perk. Space saving is cool and so is the security of digital archives, but let’s face it—books and shelves are essential ingredients for aesthetically-pleasing interior design. To get rid of one would be to render the other useless, and then what would we fill rooms with? Still, after experiencing a year’s worth of frustration at campus libraries and bookstores, the solution doesn’t seem all that bad.
On the surface, my college’s undergraduate library is no more offensive than the one at my high school: No drinks allowed, no talking allowed, and—if you really have to—try not to be too loud. The major difference, though, is that my high school library was just a study space with decorations. Here, I have to interact with the leather-bound stacks that once served as background. And I’ve learned that checking out books is harder than it used to be. Of course, then I only researched within the kids’ section (where the books are arranged by color, and separated into “pop-up” style or “not”.)
Today I have to contend with something called the Dewey Decimal System if I want to find the right title. The name may sound like it belongs to some sort of candy-making machine, but mark my words-- DDS is not delicious or systematic. It’s just an ineffective method of sorting books. Here is the argument I would have with the guy who invented the Dewey Decimal System (presumably Mr. Dewey):
ME: “With all due respect, sir, I find it much easier to find books in stores, when they are classified by genre and positioned alphabetically-by-author. Why don’t libraries just do that?”
MR. DEWEY: “Well does your hot shot bookstore even have an eighth as many texts and multimedia as a college library?”
ME: “No, but a bookstore exists that carries eight times as many books as my bookstore. You can alphabetize no matter how many you have.
MR. DEWEY: “By gosh, Lad, I stand corrected. You have decimated my decimals.
But don’t get me wrong, it’s not like campus bookstores aren’t irritating in their own right. Go in to buy a hoodie your first week there (obligatory,) but don’t waste your time when it comes purchasing books at the beginning of term. 40% of the time they are cheaper elsewhere, 40% of the time you can borrow one from someone who already took the class, and 20% of the time they aren’t even necessary.
Books complicate my life these days, but I’m still glad that they exist. Whether they die out at the hand of the computer scanner--or else by something more Bradbury-esque--I’ll appreciate them while I can.
Peace, Love & Personalized Media,
-John the Intern
Monday, March 24, 2008
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Beware of the(se) Ide(a)s of March
It’s always relieving to hear that an event will occur “as sure as the seasons turn,” but I think the figure of speech itself is misleading. After all, the transition from winter to spring is hardly a sure thing: we leave it up to a groundhog—not a discreet turn of the calendar—to tell us when we need trade snow for pollen. We have historically put our seasonal fates in the hands of a burrowing buck-toothed mammal, and it turns out those aren’t good hands at all; they’re paws, and chancy ones at that. I call for a new annual reference point to mark the turning of these seasons—one that is consistent, and unlikely to be pushed back six weeks just because some varmint can’t see his shadow.
So what are our other contenders? We could do the ole’ first day of the month—get “springy” on March 1st. I don’t think, though, that many things are in bloom by then in certain parts of the country. The first day of spring is supposed to be representative of spring, and it defeats the purpose of picking a new day if that day still carries the burdens of winter.
Then what about ‘dem “Ides of March,” which falls right on the 15th each time. It sounds like the first approximation of a good seasonal marker—consistent year by year, appropriate weather-wise—but I fear Shakespeare gave it too much of a bad rap. It would be silly to pick an important new date that stands stigmatized from the start.
Bottom line: we need a marker with a good reputation, and few events fit the criteria as neatly as March Madness (formally known as the NCAA Men’s Division 1 Basketball Championship. It is inarguably the best play-off tournament set-up of any spectator sport, and it makes sunshine a requirement of yesterday. That is, even if its March 20something starting date isn’t late enough to guarantee good weather, most people are satisfied enough with the light emanating from their television screens to not notice. Late enough, reputable enough, and not contingent on the weather outside—I think we’ve found the perfect occasion for a Back to Spring celebration.
I guess only one question remains: is March Madness popular enough for this new significance to work its way into collective memory? I’d vote yes, and for a reason. The Tournament involves only single-elimination games, so viewers are always watching two teams with everything on the line. The mere suspense behind such a reckoning is bound to get anyone excited, regardless of his/her level of fanhood prior to the game. Also, it provides conversation fodder for weeks on end. This is important, because the departure of winter means no more generic comments about the weather.
In sum, I call for the abolition of Groundhog Day followed by the inauguration of March Madness’s play-in game into the Season Turner Hall of Fame. C’mon people, lets lend some credence and constancy to the old saying.
Go Stanford & UNC!!!
Peace, Love & Personalized Media,
-John the Intern
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
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Knock the Vote
It’s mid-February, a time of year typically characterized by chilly weather and the red glint of St. Valentines Day. On a college campus in the wake of the 2008 Presidential Primaries, though, these are negligible conditions. The political climate here is hot, and I’ve only seen red when it’s accompanied by white and blue. All I’m trying to say is that my school, presumably like all others, has gotten really into this election. And like anywhere else, no two students are very like-minded on the matter.
Walk through the campus plaza on a given afternoon and you’ll be given a million different sides of the story: vote for him, vote for her, vote for the other him, vote for the old guy. At least Ron Paul’s people tried not to impose less than the others, asking only that I YouTube their candidate. Considerate, except I still use a 56K Modem; that’s still asking a lot of me.
As an impressionable freshman just shy of 230 months old, I feel pressure from all sides. People more verbally affrontive but not necessarily more informed than me are trying to push my hand in all sorts of directions. It’s a time that calls for self-inquiry. Who do I want to lead my country? Should I even belong to a major party? My generation has been raised on the “none of the above” option, so it’s not my nature to feel satisfied with choice A or choice B. That is, until I found out that only members of a major parties can vote in primaries.
So I ultimately compromised my round views to fit into a square party’s peg, but I wasn’t very enthusiastic about it. Without enthusiasm, it seemed a feat to brave the long line at my polling station. Fortunately the mail-in-ballot I had acquired earlier allowed me to bypass the queue. I was surprised that most of the other people turned out the old-fashioned way, waiting for hours on end to cast their vote on the spot. We’ve all heard about poorly informed political decisions, but these were poorly informed methods of getting the piece of paper on which they could make these political decisions.
It is important to note that the ballot wasn’t all about choosing a new president; in fact, there were three additional legislative propositions for my state to vote on. I answered “no” to all of them without reading descriptions, because my parents didn’t raise me to be a “yes man.” And isn’t that the sort of logic that has driven the system for years? Not a rhetorical question, I seriously want too know if my reasoning seems too faulty.
Peace, Love, and Personalized Media.
-John the Intern
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
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It’s Like Watching TV on Mute All the Time…
I know it’s been awhile since I last wore my blogging shoes, but allow me to promptly quell the rumors: I did not get caught-up in Hollywood’s much-publicized Writers’ strike. And shame on anyone who jumped to such conclusions! To accuse me of being a union man would be to imply that I am any sort of man, and any DailyMe superior will tell you that isn’t the case. My internship was in part an educational experience and education is what confines one to boyhood. (It’s also important to note that, of the many valuable lessons taught throughout my internship, none dealt with wage or royalty negotiation in the least. At this point, I still accept pay in the form of arcade tokens and free meals.)
This isn’t to say, however, that the SWG walk-out didn’t take a toll on me. Like most of you, I consume about a million more words than I provide in this world—and that’s including my bathroom stall limericks. Television once offered the meat and potatoes of this entertainment consumption, but the strike has reduced my favorite shows to nothing. Bottom line: without a plotline, a prime time hit is nothing more than some pretty faces with nothing to say; without a team of writers, the late night pundit is only as funny as his chin looks; and without jokes, a sitcom’s canned laughter just sounds inappropriate. The only good news is that, perhaps for the first time, reality shows truly are unscripted.
To manage this crisis, I’ve turned more and more to the internet’s bountiful supply of visual media – which I myself have proudly contributed to with my own vid - DailyMe Intern Digital Shorts Part 1, and the yet to be released Digital Shorts Part 2 - John the Intern RAW & UNEDITED. So where the amateur efforts of YouTube were once mere entertainment snacks in my diet, they’ve lately taken on the role of supersized entrées.
Nowadays, I get my laughs from a college comedy troupe’s no-budget video shorts; I find drama on the argumentative discussion threads below each presidential candidate’s new uploads; even when I’m looking for sappy romance, I can rely on thousands of desperate, misleading personal ads from craigslist to make my heart swell.
As to the age-old question of how much (or little) television stimulates the developing brain, I’m not sure the answer for internet videos is any different. I can argue, though, that my new favored medium offers way more choice to its viewers than even the most premium of cable plans. Like never before, it depends what you’re looking for.
Those are my thoughts on filling your entertainment voids for now, and together let’s keep the faith that the sets of Mad Men & The Office return soon.
Peace, Love, and Personalized Media,
-John the Intern
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
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The So-Called Freshman 15 is an Urban Legend
My college touts a wide array of academic opportunities, but I wish this emphasis on variety carried over to campus dining. Sure, the cafeteria staff provides plenty of options at each mealtime—it’s just that they all taste the same. No exaggeration: I know what my favorite dish looks like, but it’s at different times been labeled both “calzone” and “cupcake”.
But my main criticism isn’t of the cooks or their laxative-charged foodstuffs; it’s of my own finicky tendencies. I’ve felt these same sentiments build up many times before, and I fear it says something about me…maybe about everyone. It says that if I eat anywhere for four months I’m going to get tired of it. In a sense, it’s only a matter of time with any steady food provider before the romaine lettuce starts to look greener on the other side.
Not to say mass dining is all bad news. As a matter of fact, it offers some commodities that home cooking never did. Just ask any cereal fan: diverse selection (sugary and granola), and someone gets paid to sniff out the stale boxes. Plus, we all know that spaghetti tastes best with black hairs from someone you don’t know (Mom’s were always so blonde and flavorless).
As for finding recourse elsewhere on campus, the pickings are pretty slim. To make matters worse, the few existing alternatives do everything they can to sell themselves short. Seriously, not one of the available eateries will take the plunge and call itself a restaurant. Instead, we have cafes, snack shops, and smoothie joints—not one of which sounds likely to fill a belly. When I arrived in September, I may have freely associated coffee shops with the word “hip”; now, it’s more like “hungry”.
So where do I go from here? There’s always the option of buying property in the middle of campus, building a strip mall, and making sure to include a couple Chicken Kitchens. Or else I’ll just swallow my pride. How long would that tide me over for? And as far as the so-called freshman 15 plague when you go away to school – IMPOSSIBLE I say.
At any rate, I wish the blogosphere a “Happy, Merry whatever you’re celebrating”, and I’ll see you all in the New Year.
Peace, Love, and as always Personalized Media,
-John the Intern
DailyMe_Intern
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- Name: John
- Gender: Male
- Member Since: 6/8/2007
