Tuesday, December 25, 2007
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The So-Called Freshman 15 is an Urban Legend
My college touts a wide array of academic opportunities, but I wish this emphasis on variety carried over to campus dining. Sure, the cafeteria staff provides plenty of options at each mealtime—it’s just that they all taste the same. No exaggeration: I know what my favorite dish looks like, but it’s at different times been labeled both “calzone” and “cupcake”.
But my main criticism isn’t of the cooks or their laxative-charged foodstuffs; it’s of my own finicky tendencies. I’ve felt these same sentiments build up many times before, and I fear it says something about me…maybe about everyone. It says that if I eat anywhere for four months I’m going to get tired of it. In a sense, it’s only a matter of time with any steady food provider before the romaine lettuce starts to look greener on the other side.
Not to say mass dining is all bad news. As a matter of fact, it offers some commodities that home cooking never did. Just ask any cereal fan: diverse selection (sugary and granola), and someone gets paid to sniff out the stale boxes. Plus, we all know that spaghetti tastes best with black hairs from someone you don’t know (Mom’s were always so blonde and flavorless).
As for finding recourse elsewhere on campus, the pickings are pretty slim. To make matters worse, the few existing alternatives do everything they can to sell themselves short. Seriously, not one of the available eateries will take the plunge and call itself a restaurant. Instead, we have cafes, snack shops, and smoothie joints—not one of which sounds likely to fill a belly. When I arrived in September, I may have freely associated coffee shops with the word “hip”; now, it’s more like “hungry”.
So where do I go from here? There’s always the option of buying property in the middle of campus, building a strip mall, and making sure to include a couple Chicken Kitchens. Or else I’ll just swallow my pride. How long would that tide me over for? And as far as the so-called freshman 15 plague when you go away to school – IMPOSSIBLE I say.
At any rate, I wish the blogosphere a “Happy, Merry whatever you’re celebrating”, and I’ll see you all in the New Year.
Peace, Love, and as always Personalized Media,
-John the Intern
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Comments (1)
Passing off one food as both a dessert AND a bagette looking thing with pizza filling? fucking outrageous.
I enjoyed your percpective on dining out. I must agree that blonde hairs stimulate my pallet very little in comparison to the much zestier (and therefore superior) black ones.
You're a very interesting writer.