| STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE - Available Now!
Hey everybody,
Well, it’s been three long years since my first novel, Girls For Breakfast, came out, and a lot
has happened to me since then. I had a suspicious looking mole surgically removed
from my back. I re-connected with old friends. I became an uncle. I got married
to my long-time girlfriend.
But none of that even remotely compares to the most
gratifying thing to happen to me—I finally finished my second novel!
Stop Me If You’ve
Heard This One Before (Hyperion) is the story of an unorthodox high school love-triangle,
starring an earnest-if-awkward young man named Albert Kim, a headstrong wisp of
a girl named Mia Stone, and a frustratingly perfect, mesomorphic monster named
Ryan “The House” Stackhouse. The novel features the music of Phil Collins, a
handful of seemingly magical frogs that figure largely into the story, and within
the pages you’ll discover the origins of the Damnit Game, soon to be sweeping
the nation. It’s received advance praise from some of my favorite authors (see http://www.daveyoo.com),
and is now officially available for purchase at your local bookstore and
online.
The thing is, I need your help spreading the word about this
novel, because I’m notoriously horrendous at book promotion. For one thing, I
almost never leave my house. I very rarely “talk” to anyone (I don’t even own a
cell-phone). As a result, I don’t seem to know that many humans (is that what
you carbon-based life forms prefer to go by?), so I was thinking maybe we could
turn the text of this entry into one of those really cool chain letter emails that everyone seems
to enjoy so much. Therefore, please pass this on to at least 10 people,
and ask those people to send it to 10 more people, ad infinitum.
And like all chain emails, please be aware that if you don’t
pass this email on to at least 10 other people, something terrible will happen to you.
Truth be told, the results of my efforts to promote my first
novel back in the day were inconclusive at best, but more likely an utter
failure. Basically, I did three things to promote my first book:
1.)
I scribbled “Girls For Breakfast” or “David Yoo”
on every piece of paper currency I came in contact with over a three year
period. (Alas, my dismal earning potential limited the amount of paper currency
I came into contact with during that period.)
2.)
I visited bookstores in the area and secretly
tore the front cover off copies of my books because I’d been mistakenly
informed that doing so would guarantee the bookstore would have to purchase the
copy. (Turns out that not only is this NOT true, but it’s also a prosecutable
offense.)
3.)
I tried to form my first fan club, Davey’s Palz. (Currently, I’m still the sole
member.)
Needless to say, these efforts did not impact my sales
whatsoever. So for the last fifteen minutes or so I’ve been brainstorming new
ways to get the word out on my new book. My first gangbusters idea was the
chain-letter thing. My other ideas are as follows:
Idea #2: I need you to actively discuss my title in bookstores. For example, you could
loiter by the front register and, when you make eye contact with a customer in
line, smile broadly and say something like, “I heard that book really sucks!
Say, have you read Stop Me If You’ve
Heard This One Before yet?” That’s just a boilerplate example, of course,
feel free to tweak the dialogue however which way you like.
Idea #3: Call up your local radio station during their
request hour, and ask that they play Stop
Me If You’ve Heard This One Before, by David Yoo. When they say they don’t
have that song by that artist, reply, “Oh, actually, it’s a book. Why, do you
only play songs?” Then wait five
minutes, call back and say, “Hey pal, why haven’t you played my book request
yet?” Repeat this process a total of 9 times, because according to marketing
experts the average, potential customer needs to hear a title at least 9 times
before it finally sticks in their heads. (Note: The beauty of this strategy is
that it can easily be modified to work with just about anyone working in any
vocation)
In the meantime, I’ve also decided to try to re-kickstart my
fan club, Davey’s Palz. In hindsight,
I realize now that what scared everyone off the first time was the admittedly
exorbitant membership fees. Originally, I had it set up that a 1-year
membership cost $100, and that you could purchase a discounted 2-year membership
for $198. This time around, due in part to our struggling economy, I’ve decided
to take the financial hit on your behalf and offer, for a limited time only, a lifetime membership fee for the fire sale
price of just $99! That’s right, for under a hundred buckashmoozies you’re
entitled to all the benefits of being a Davey’s Pal for the duration of your
life (of course it goes without saying that the younger you are the more
valuable the membership), including:
-receiving an annual e-newsletter, recapping all the
wonderful things to happen to David in the previous calendar year (note: this
year’s newsletter has been cancelled due to time constraints)
-automatic entry in a yearly raffle (prizes include: signed
copies of my novels, as well as still-to-be-determined, assorted random crap
laying around on my desk)
-permission to freely refer to yourself as a “Davey’s Pal”
at public, non-Davey’s Palz-related
functions.
That’s the perks of being in the fan club, in a nutshell.
Otherwise, I’m elated to finally be able to introduce you to my new novel,
which has been a long time in the making. Also, I have a new web site at www.daveyoo.com,
which features up-to-date news and events, links to purchase my books online,
and a picture of possibly the most menacing cat you’ll ever see in your lifetime.
Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read this, and know
that I actually was being quite serious earlier—if you don’t pass this on to at
least 10 people something really terrible will happen to you.
Have a great day!
David Yoo
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