There's something a little funny going on when I have a twenty minute phone call and then spend like four hours writing about it - ha ha.  Anyway, M actually called me after work yesterday and we had dinner at the Hollywood Diner, which is not actually in Hollywood but at the end of my block (take note, stalkers!).  There was a funny moment when, after he and I discussed the merits of Harvey's Bristol Cream, which they serve there, he asked the waiter what kind of red wine they served.  "It's just red, M."  

They don't get into that "merlot" and "burgundy"-type fanciness at the Hollywood!

It was great fun to talk to M and he said he wants to pay back the money he owes me, which is exciting but not really the reason I called.  I mean, I would like the money, but for a non-monetary reason.  When I told my boyfriend E that I was meeting M, he said, just as predicted, "You mean the English guy who owes you money?  Why are you meeting him?" 

Uh, 'cause he makes me laugh and I's hongry? "Nothing like bacon fat to kill hongry!" I believe is what they say, and by "they" I mean "Zora Neale Hurston"

Anyway, it would be nice never to have to answer that question again.

The good news is M looks like he's doing great, although a tad overworked as he had two different cell phones that kept ringing,and he'd say very important-sounding things into them.  One of them can even receive faxes!  (The tech-mology these days!)

He's also dating a woman now, something he had started doing the last time we spoke, and it seems to be working out for him.  Normally I don't believe that someone can go diving for chocolate starfish and then just start drinking from the bushy bowl, but for some reason it happened for him, so I'll have to re-engineer my gender paradigm.

Just kidding!  I have no idea what gender paradigm means.  I just read some  Eve Kofosky Sedgwick once in college and I know some queer theory terms to throw around, like "the womb/tomb of the castrating (m)other".  You want to know a secret?  I think Eve doesn't know what she's talking about either!  Shhh!  Don't tell!

For those of you bored at work, here's an interesting link for you to check out:

A Fashion Shoot Featuring The Most Beautiful Woman In Puppetland,  Amy Sedaris

I'm late on this one, but a Pop Idol star knelt onstage in a kilt and showed the audience the money.  The best part is he was doing that lame "kneel and sing while looking the young child in her eyes" thing to a 9 year-old.  Unfortunately for her, she was the only person shielded from the view!  (Pop Idol is the UK equivalent of American Idol, except they are less nationalistic over there, apparently). 

Isn't the only reason a kilt is vaguely sexy is it's the only form of formal wear that, with the slightest whispering breeze, allows you to see the genitalia of the guy wearing it? He doesn't even need to loosen his tie!  Barring a breeze, he needs only to forget he's wearing a skirt and sit down like those irritating guys on the subway:

(Insert joke about Beer Nuts here.)

(Insert Joke About 'Grass On The Playing Field Here')

And finally, and very much not safe for work, there's a web page Porn confidential.com which has stories about the illicit affairs of porn stars - and who knew a porn star could do anything more illicit than they were already doing? 

Well, apparently the gay-for-pay ones can beat up their girlfriends, for one thing.  For another, it links to this really, really odd web page that seems to have some sort of grudge against this charming man, a porn "star," and his fat and hairy agent.  The reason I know the agent is fat and hairy is because although the webpage is a little scattered, the pee video it eventually links to is sharply in focus.  Ugh.  So if you want to see a fat guy with man-titties, hairy shoulders, and a penis so small you'd need tweezers to find it get peed on by an obviously drugged young man, make sure you check it out. 

Sexy Jake Shears photo of the day:

That is all.