All this time I thought I needed, like experience or talent to get a career in journalism.  Silly me!  Now that I know the correct procedure, I'm expecting my White House Press Pass any day now.

Once I have that in hand, I'll have the access I need to get you, gentle reader, the latest and greatest news on the spectacular plans of the Bush administration:  from George W. Bush's wonderful programs to create jobs to his flawless program to dissolve social security; from the great things he's done to the great man he is.  And nothing else! 

Okay, on occasion, for balance, I'll do a story on the stupidity of the Democratic Party, or on the biased media - the LIBERAL media. You can tell the media is biased because because they question things like God and the President, when really they should accept that since God picked the President, Bush is doing God's work, and that's all you need to know.

Here at the Comfort Zone, once I have that press pass, we'll be FAIR and BALANCED, just like Fox News, so I'll just be reading the White House press releases fully, wihtout comment, and you know that I know all about full releases.

That is all.