| | All These Things That I've Done
I could spend hours on Flickr...oh wait, I have. I've been
browsing through other people's photo albums, people who were generous
enough to upload their sexy, sexy photos for my perusal. It's lovely
how the the magic of the
Internet brings voyeurs and exhibitionists together again for the first
time...at last. On Flickr, the good photos are tagged with their
most important keywords, like shirtless and nude. (You can quickly dispense with boring words like "baby" and "women".
Shirtless will actually get you a photo of Jeff Corwin shirtless with a turtle - a little bonus for you kids!
As usual, I get distracted and follow one person's exploits. I
sense some unrequited feelings in the numerous photos "Beautiful Boy"
has taken of "Mike."
There's a profusion of people - sexy, sweaty people - in his photo
albums, but one name pervades: Mike! There's "Mike Don and a girl" and "Mike Scott And A Girl" and "Mike Shaun And Girls."
Girls, when they squeeze their way into the frame of these
photographs, still never warrant a name. In fact, all of the men
are named, except for "Mike And Some Trick"!
Can't you just feel the hatred ooze through in that caption? The
photographer's love has been stolen away by a base, lustful, but still
sorta cute guy who may very well star in Czechoslovakian porn.
At least, that's what I'm imagining.
On Friday I went to the 15th Annual Night Of 1000 Stevies
for the first time. It was, as promised, a riot of baby's breath
and white-winged doves. A fantastic impersonator named Gypsy Wild
served some total Stevie realness at one point, a lot of the
holding-the-hands-out-as-if-Stevie-had-stigmata kind of thing that she
does in concert, as well as numerous other realistic Stevie nuances, creating a performance just as realistic
as Jodie Foster when she played that retard.
Any old Stevie Nicks
impersonator worth her ruched boots can tap a tambourine and twirl her
shawl around - but this girl brought it, sold it, kept the change, and went out for pancakes afterward. (To speak in the vernacular).
I was much impressed, and didn't even stay around for the Battle of The
Thousand Stevies that was supposed to happen "near dawn" - though
Debbie Harry was rumored to be performing, I'm just too old to stay
out that late.
On Sunday I went out to brunch with E and his folks for a Mother's Day
brunch at the Brooklyn Diner, where I got all sugared-up on a chocolate
egg cream. I was happy AND angry! Then we went to a
not-quite-entirely-unironic viewing of Monster-In-Law.
That movie is one of the highest quality movies of all the low-quality
movies I've seen lately. It has a slightly more coherent plot
than Beauty Shop Featuring Fiji Water, and also a better cast.
It's a little ironic that Jane Fonda plays the overly-married titular
Monster, yet J. Lo in real life is already on marriage 2.5 (I think the
almost-hit with Ben should count, at least until J. Gar pushes one
out). We're supposed to sympathize with her and hope that the
Jane Fonda lady will let J.Lo marry, except that we know
the stats aren't looking too good for the guys J. Lo has run through in
the past.
Also, the development of J.Lo and guy's relationship is just taken as a given -
the whole relationship is like, "Hey, are you a doctor who goes
running shirtless on the beach? Do I need to learn your last name now,
or can we get engaged right off the bat and work out the details
later? I mean, I got engaged to that John Leguizamo-looking short guy - what's his
name? Marc Anthony?- anyway, I didn't even know he was married OR gay before we were
practically down the aisle!"
In other news, my boss is on one of his famous looooong personal phone
calls, during which he often dispenses sage advice to his friends, as
is his wont. Here's a quick summary of the half of the conversation that I've heard:
Don't let the hairdo fool you! Trus'!
....
Helleux! [NOTE: This is the correct spelling for gay
exclamatory "hello!", which is a sort of drawn out version of the
"Hello" normal people use as a greeting. This way, you can use it
much as the Smurfs used the word "Smurf"]
....
You have to go theah? Oh, she went theah?
Yes, she went there. Helleaux! She went there, with her hairdo, and brought back souvenirs. Helleaux. Trus'!
That is all.
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| | Posted 5/9/2005 5:22 PM - 33 views - 3 comments
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