I went to Great Adventure on Friday, an "Art Parade" on Saturday, and the Zoo on Sunday. 

The batteries on my camera started fading just as the Art Parade started, and it gave me palpitations due to the exciting content of the parade. Luckily, I snapped this just before the batteries died entirely:

The Lovely And Talented Ana Matronic In Her Signature Fringed Dress

I have some more photos of the Art Parade, including some of the sexy, semi-nude, and glittery Dazzle Dancers that I'll post later in the week. 

On Sunday I went to the Bronx Zoo with Avantdan, and shortly after arriving he started taking pictures of everything that wasn't in a cage, because - aside from certain tropical birds and the elephants - the most interesting, large, and colorful animals were the attendees.  

For example, when he wanted to take a picture of a camel toe, we weren't anywhere near the camels.  He's my kind of crowd, that Dan!

Avantdan mentioned that he'd seen a girl who was chewing on the drawstring of her shorts, but was unable to snap a picture of her due to timing, her mother was watching and could have easily sat on him, etc. After we looked at the gorillas we were chatting and a girl walked by me twirling the drawstring of her shorts, and I thought to myself, "Could that be...?"

"It's her!" he whispered excitedly, and we immediately flocked around her like quiet little butterflies, snapping away surreptitiously with our digital cameras.  I got what I think was the best picture as I vaguely tried to pretend I was taking a picture of Dan, even though he was facing the other way.  It's a technique I learned in Europe while traveling with the Clever Man, when we tried to take pictures of Asian tourists posing in front of the Pieta and various other monuments (we didn't have a guidebook, so we'd just look for flocks of Asians to find the important sightseeing sights).  I mean, anyone traveling to Rome can get a picture of himself with their hand in the Boca Della Verita, but who has one of a complete stranger with their hand stuck in there?  (Answer: Me!) 

The drawstring girl's mother was too busy bitching about being led to "the wrong end of the park" or something, so she missed the two homos taking pictures of her prepubescent daughter and simultaneously gave her daughter enough anxiety that she started sucking away on her shorts again:

The Haute Look for Fall: Pink Panther Girl and Dan's Sleeve (at right)

While watching the sea lions, I also snapped this woman's ensemble, which was an unfortunate pair of tapered stretch jeans:

"Thin Ankles, Sweetie! Thin Ankles!"

It's just incomprehensible to me why a woman with this shape would voluntarily choose to wear these pants.  The tapered ankle only serves to accentuate the wide ballooning that occurs at the waist, giving the wearer the look of a soft-sculpture Twin Pop or the Michelin Woman. 

I think maybe that instead of using a full-length mirror to get dressed, perhaps she's only got one of those mirrors like they have at shoe stores, which only show you what you look like from the knee down.  In one of those, I'll bet she looks FABULOUS. 

I still think I'm legally allowed to beat her to death with a pay phone receiver because of that white-shoes-after-Labor-Day rule.   Luckily for her, I'm a pacifist.

UPDATE:  Damn it all to hell, I've just been informed by NKOTB that I've missed touching Jake Shears by mere inches, as apparently he was INSIDE the PufnStuf-esque character that Ana Matronic was leading around at the Art Parade.  I'll have to console myself by viewing these photographs, and with the fact that, unlike London Features International, I can spell Ana Matronic's name correctly - but that's a bit of cold comfort, isn't it? 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to think about how hot, sweaty, and sticky it must have been inside that Sweetums-y costume, and what musky treasures must have escaped when Jake emerged.  Mmmpf!

That is all.