The moment you've all been waiting for has finally arrived!  Portions of the Colin Farrell sex tape are currently bouncing meatily around the internet, and two copies of it arrived in my gmail box within mere minutes (well, hours) of each other (thanks, Clever Man and lookinfortime!).  Mmpf! 

I guess "tape" is the wrong word, since it looks like it was filmed with a camera phone, or perhaps was painted by an extremely fast watercolorist, but what fuzzy images do come through reveal that Colin does, in fact, have a nice-sized unit...and he's not a racist.

The file is posted for you on Rapidshare - click here, follow the instructions (you have to choose the "free" option) and then prepare to be amazed, or possibly just titillated!  In the event that it's not already obvious, I should mention this video of Colin Farrel having actual sexual intercourse on camera is not safe for work.  But for those of you who watch it, I'd like your opinion: do you think Colin's got a big one, or is it just that he's short, and it looks large in proportion?  Discuss.

For those of you heterosexual males out there (i.e., Boston Mike) - don't feel left out, because Colin's manhood is shown thrusting into one of those vagina-things you guys are always yammering on about, and as a backup, I've also got the link for a bit of camera-whore Paris Hilton's racoon-in-the-headlights appearance in her own video: Paris Hilton Makes Her Mama Proud.  I just love that video because there's rarely a moment that Paris isn't gazing directly, with deeply felt love, directly at her beloved: the camera. 

In other news, a former lover of Clay Aiken's recently tried to "out" him by reporting news of their affair to The National Enquirer, but the attempt might fail because they haven't yet been able to locate anyone who thinks Clay Aiken is straight.  Tabloid outings have been hit or miss with its anwyay - the one in the Globe with Chad Allen took, but the article in 1990 where the Enquirer outed John Travolta just resulted in Travolta's marriage to Kelly Preston, so who knows what might happen with Clay? 

But now that I think about it, isn't Liza Minnelli currently single? 

UPDATE:  There's a much, much longer version of Colin's video here (Thanks, DKNY!)- I haven't gotten to watch much of it yet, but it looks like it's more of the same - i.e., sexy Colin Farrell totally nude having sexy sexual intercourse with a sexy Playmate - but the extended version lets you see that Colin doesn't feel the need to use a condom when he's "pounding out the veal" (or, in this case, I guess it would be liver or eggplant or something instead of veal.)   

That is all.