Volcanoes, motorcycles....it has EVERYTHING!!!

Today I have a guest entry, from gentle reader Jill.  As you may recall, I was shocked - SHOCKED  - to find out that some of you haven't seen Showgirls.  It's simply inconceivable to me that someone would know that a movie like Showgirls exists, and yet have not taken the time to view it!  I mean, it's not like The Apple, which equally fantastic and misguided, but much less well-known in that it does not have a full-frontal view of a former teen actress's vagina.  But that's another story, never mind, anyway...

So Jill, like the lovely girl she is, viewed Showgirls per my instructions, paying special attention to the chip eating that I mentioned, and - and this is the good part - decided to take notes.  Here is the e-mail she sent me (copied in its entirety with her permission):

I watched Showgirls, and midway through I had to start taking notes. She sure eats a lot of burgers for an ostrich....
1. bonding over a common love of Doggy Chow
2. burger eating
3. Versace
4. I ate at the restaurant where they reminisced about Doggy Chow. You know, the one right by Versace.
5. The smash hit "Goddess." What exactly IS the show? Volcanoes, motorcycles....it has EVERYTHING!!!
6. One word, hyphenated: tag-team. That's hot. "She has a broken nose and vaginal tears." How did she get her nose into her vagina, and how did she squeeze it that hard? Again I say, That's hot.
7. Jesse Spano can do ANYTHING. She can do her nails, and RIGHT AWAY apply lipstick without fucking up her nail polish.
8. Lipstick on her NIPPLES?!
9. You're right! She does eat chips funny. She's like a little bird, with a slim waist.

One of these is a big bird with eyes on the side of her head that lays huge eggs...and the other one is an ostrich.

You know, Jill is totally right about Elizabeth Berkley looking like an ostrich.  Like Shannen Doherty's crooked eye, I'll never see her the same way again!

That is all.