Dick Mitten, Anyone?

Google is way easier to influence than I ever realized.  Power to the people!  Stick it to the Man!  While I am personally a miserable failure  at getting cock holster up there (there's apparently a lot of competition), Todd's idea of "dick mitten" for John Ashcroft is currently the 5th result. 

I am thoroughly impressed by his success, almost as impressed as I was by looking at Hugh Jackman's bare chest last night (we went to The Boy From Oz) [Didja like that segue, boys?].  He changes shirts twice during the show, causing a great "Hugh" hue and cry to rise from the crowd.  Don't worry - I started masturbating vigorously as soon as the lights went down, so I was ready when the moment came. 

At the end of the show, they auctioned off a tiiiight black t-shirt he wore in one of the numbers for $2,500. They had one shirt but two bidders, and at the end offered one to each for $2,500, so I'm guessing one of the shirts would, sadly, not be all swwweaty. Also, a $900 sweaty towel taken right off his sweaty neck after the final big blowout production number. I'm not making this up - they actually emphasized the fact that the items were sweaty, which makes them both unsaleable on Ebay until washed as well as incredibly sexy, because the whole auction was to raise funds for Broadway Cares Equity Fights AIDS.  A gay-friendly high-kicking singing Australian raising money for a gay charity who looks like this in a towel?  Mmmpf!