Regarding The International Male

Do You Like Pizza?
Do You Like Masturbating?

I remember hearing once there's a telemarketing trick that telemarketers use where they ask you several questions that they actually already know the answer to, like "Is this the Jones' residence?"  The idea is that they get several yes's out of you to start with, so when they get around to offering a low-interest mortgage or long-distance telephone program, you're already primed to say "yes" again, due to momemtum, I guess.  DKNY and I came up with the above questions as sure-fire yes's that techinically fit the bill but yet are still poor choices with which to start a telemarketing call.  Do you like them?

Today I have a few things for you.  Todd pointed me to the Undergear catalog in a previous post, and while there I noticed they'd done one of those annoying intertnet techie-things where they don't let you right-click on the pictures to do a "Save As."  I find that irritating, and in return I'm posting a picture from them just to get revenge.

Also, I wanted to comment on the model's seemingly humongous bulge.  Is it just me, or is that thing huge?  Mmpf! 

Looking at that crotch reminded me of something that I think many of you homos out there might have noticed - when I was just a budding homosexual, one day out of nowhere the International Male catalog just arrived in my mailbox without warning.  I think they somehow find a list of nelly fags in training and send them the catalog.  And by "them" I mean "me".  I could never figure out how they found me, though - my subscription to Details, perhaps? 

I think the theory behind International Male is that if you look at the sexy models long enough you'll eventually get disoriented and think that you, too, can pull off the puffy shirt, for example, or one of the nearly criminal ensembles you see below:

Where in the bloody hell could you ever wear the combo on the right, for example?  It's one thing to wear a sheer mesh shirt, but to pair it with what appear to be shiny black sauna pants?  It's as if he's trying to get his crotch as sweaty as possible while luring the boys in with his beckoning pecs.  Sadly, I remain unlured, though it would be a great chance to use that old pick-up line: "That shirt looks great on you, but it would look even better on my floor.  Ha ha! Get it, sexy model?  Or actually in the trash - it would look great in the trash.  Let's throw it away now, shall we?"

International Male is such a funny concept - they have the ugliest and gayest clothes ever, as well as Undergear, a subsidiary company concerned solely with sexy underwear and swimwear, but at the same time they try to hide the gay beefcake factor by disabling right-clicking, for one thing, and for another one they sell like 15 different kinds of thongs but at no point do you ever get to see the model's behind in the thong.  The whole point of a thong is that you see ass, isn't it?  Avoiding the ass shot is such a tease!  It's like they think I'm looking at a men's underwear catalog and I'm mostly concerned with the fabric and fit. 

I prefer the approach of Koala Swimwear - they make the most retarded swimwear ever, including swimsuits that fail to cover the genitalia, so I think they acknowledge that some people are visiting just to have a looky-loo, especially since as some of the swimsuits require the models to lube up.  Oh, and they sell videos of the models modelling, so I guess they are in on the game.  Just clicking through there today, though, I notice they've inexplicably included a completely nude female model in some of the product shots in addition to the almost-naked men.  I wonder if that is their attempt at at de-gaying their swimsuits?  Would a heterosexual man who was worried about appearing too gay be comforted that a nude female was standing in the product shot for what is clearly the gayest swimsuit ever?  Oh wait, this is the gayest swimsuit ever.  Or is it this one?  Any swimsuit with either an anal ring or a butt-plug attachment seems to be innately gay, but that's just me I guess! 

It seems a little silly to go through the trouble of making sure the hand in the photograph - the hand that is pointing out the anal ring attachment on the really, really gay-looking swimsuit - is a woman's hand.  Who are you fooling, kids?  I guess I shouldn't complain - they, unlike Undergear, have the deceny to show front, back, and crotch closeups of each swimsuit, and I think you could easily classify each and every single one of their products a sexy tragedy.

There's a fun video with naked men in it at this link.  The compression of the video makes the multiple penii rather hard to see, sadly, but it's still worth a look.

Finally, I'll send you off with the following interesting pictures that I've come across, all of them unrelated, but I don't have time to work out a good segue between swimwear, ass-writing, and a lion.

More Isreali ass-writing (both frontal and backal views):

This guy must have been really, really drunk if all this writing didn't wake him up:

Another example of a time not be talking on your cell phone:

A Kodak Moment: When I'm Old, I Want To Look Back Fondly On All The Wonderful Memories I Have Of Talking On My Cell Phone

It seems dangerous to have an actual live lion gratuitously in this shot, especially if you're going to dangle little meaty things over his head:

I can't imagine what the photographer, model, or lion must have been thinking when the shutter clicked, but I have a feeling when the guy went to put his clothes back on, he reached for something from the International Male catalog.