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In Which I Make A Desperate Bid For My Privacy Thanks to the interweb machine, children these days can have their horrific, life-scarring embarassments broadcast and replayed endlessly rather than just having them…
Someone To Watch Over Me**But Not That Guy With The Axe Over There I popped over to Borders to pick up my copy of the April issue of Bust magazine, which this month features the lovely and talented Amy Sedaris and h…
Every Single Poem Ever Written By Emily Dickinson Can Be Sung To Tune Of 'The Yellow Rose Of Texas' First off, this story is better than anything I can think of, as it involves both poop and Jennifer Lopez. In other n…
It's Sad AND Funny, Like When A Clown Dies Want to know something ironic? Karen Carpenter died wearing a jogging suit.
I'm Sorry, Pat, But I'm Not Going To Wink At You Unless You Shave Off Your Mustache I smashed my pinkie in the garbage chute yesterday, so it literally pains me to capitalize, since that's the finger that should be h…
A Greasy Pork Sandwich Served In A Dirty Ashtray I got a Friendster spam today from someone who I imagine is a male prostitute in the Philippines. He is, sadly, not named Orlando. I'm not sure if he was perhap…
We're businesswomen. We're due in Tucson later...for a business thing. It isn't often I get to tell a story that starts this way, but: Once while I was in Belgium I saw Ruby Wax interview OJ Simpson on the tel…
Inspired by the insipid and tired Christians responsible for keeping Janet.'s titties off the airwaves and out of our homes, I've come up with a list of my own: Davis McDavis' Top Five "Things That Offend Me" …
Here's Your Change, Sir. By The Way, Do You Have Any Spare Change? I checked my mailbox at work, and amongst the mail was a pack of gum - a 30-cent pack of Wrigley's. "Where had THAT come from?" I wondered. …
In Which I Am Seated Near The Nearly Famous This weekend I went to see They Who Shall Not Move Their Arms with E and his friend, Nickelstein Goldman. Seated behind us was the extended family of the male lead …
I Am Very Concrete In My Fancy I found more of those funny escort postings. There are a bunch of listings on that site that seem to be from either people who don't understand what an escort is, and are instead posting …
Now I'm Out $12.50! Last night Solomon and I went to see La Mala educación, and that was super fun. The movie was filled with rampant sexiness, made all the more sexy by presenting the sexiness just slightly out of the…
An Occasion For Shame Todd is always going to shitty movies and then complaining that the movies he goes to are shitty. I mean, he went to see Be Cool, which is being promoted as a follow-up of some kind to Get Shorty.…
Let's Just Say I'd Rather Not Sit Down, Doctor

This is a photograph of one of my favorite things - a bad window display. In my mind, a window display should contain an interesting tableau of items that entices people who are outside the store to come inside the sto…
Wiser? Perhaps.Older? Definitely. I went to the record store at lunch so I could pick up Tori's The Beekeeper, which came out last week (sorry I'm late, Tori!). After waffling over whether or not I needed the Deluxe …

DavisMcDavis

- Name: Davis
- Country: United States
- State: New York
- Metro: New York City
- Birthday: 10/15/1973
- Gender: Male
- Member Since: 7/9/2002
- True