Currently Listening Almost Here By The Academy Is... see related

wow...my life just keeps getting more pathetic by the hour. at least today, i didnt eat.

i went to school today after a long fall break. then, all of a sudden, 3rd block comes. i find out i might be able to continue my japanese lessons next year. good news right? then i get checked out...im like wtf mate? but thats kewl, less school. im just all ladeda, then bam...mom gives me the bad news.

"Ashleigh, Grandpa Joe is in the hospital and is dying,"she said.

im like unholy cow poo! le sadness crept up all over me. first my favourite aunt is dying and now my ONLY grandpa is too.

im so sick of death...when the two of them die, itll be 6 close to me that have.

Beau, Randy, John, Derrick, and if they do soon, Aunt Claire, and Grandpa Joe.

Thats too much for one girl to handle...then the only friend i really have in my life now is ana. Ana is my demon, my curse, my friend...Im not going to eat at all this weekend but tomorrow i have to for its senior night. God, even though I've lost my faith, help me. Maybe I'll come back...but as of right now, i had to unload my revolver and lock up my meds. I was feeling so close to death, it breathed upon me. Send love will you?