Testimony to God at work in my heart...I have been feeling a sort of identity crisis lately. It has been a struggle to see myself as the Father sees me. Not only that, but the enemy has been prowling, rearing his ugly head, throwing out his ugly lies and creating a lack of confidence in my position in Christ. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." I certainly have not been living in a spirit of power or love lately.
Last night I sat down with my Bible to read and ponder some of the verses that came to me throughout the past week (thanks to the wise council of some Godly women that God has placed in my life). I started pondering 1 Corinthians 6:11 "And that is what some of you were (Paul gives a list of sins in the previous verse--pick the one that applies). But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." Emphasis mine.
I prayed through 2 Corinthians 5:17 Thanking God that I was a new creation and praising Him for washing away the old and creating me anew.
It was in Ephesians 2:1-8 that the Lord really spoke to my heart.
"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world (in my mind at this point I could list off many, many ways of the world that the 'old me' lived in) and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, (Praise God, I'm not alone in my sin!) gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions -- it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and sealed us with him in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."
It is a bit difficult to put into words the effect that these verses had on my heart. It was as if God opened my heart and poured these words inside, filling it to the very top. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1980 and I can say that I have read these verses many times since then as well as heard them preached. Never before have they filled my heart in the way that they did when I read them last night. Even as I type and re-read them today I am seeing more truth welling up in my heart from these verses.
I have recently become a fan of the group Point of Grace. On their CD that I got for Christmas is a song titled Heal the Wound. The lyrics are the prayer of my heart:
I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then
I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free
Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar
I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem
Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar
Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering
Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar
I wanted to share this with you to let you know that no one is too far lost for God. Also, to encourage those that have walked a walk of faith with Jesus for weeks, months or even years that He never stops working, growing and perfecting our faith.
What our Father, God has done for us in the cleansing blood of Jesus is a miracle. If you don't believe any other miracle in the Bible -- YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS ONE!!! | 
I am getting ready to go out into my garden and I thought of you. I am going to check on all the flowers and veggies and fruits to see how they are doing after the lovely rain we had yesterday. I am sure they are all doing well because of it. We have 7 lavender plants that I planted a few weeks ago. Lavender will always remind me of you, dear Margie! I call them my "Margie Lavender". Tee hee! I hope you are doing well this weekend. Hugs, Robin
You are a beautiful lady, Margie. Inside & out. I have enjoyed reading this that you've written. And enjoyed knowing you, my friend, these past five years. Love & hugs, Robin