For my next MS Paint adventure, I've decided to do things a little differently. I will be taking requests from you guys! That's right, you heard me correctly.

There are no real guidelines here, you can suggest anything you want. You can suggest as much or as little as you would like. I cannot guarantee that I will use your suggestion. But what I CAN guarantee is that if I use your idea(s), I will totally credit you in the entry.

So get to brainstorming people. If you've ever wanted to see anything specific in MS Paint form now is your chance. Maybe you have a cheesy joke that you want to make its way into the story. Or maybe you wanted an MS Paint version of you having sexy time with me (i'll probably get a whole bunch of requests for this). Just give me all your ideas no matter how genius or retarded they may be!

Let's make this next MS Paint an Epic one full of strange Xanga humor.


- Edit -

Thanks for the suggestions so far. I actually have a pretty good idea of how to mesh most of the ideas together to make a coherent and hopefully funny story. I'm not going to say ahead of time which ideas I'll be using though. You'll just have to wait until I post the actual MS Paint adventure.

This was a time before hitmen had barcodes tattooed on them. I was looking for a new career and had previously dabbled in some shady businesses. So becoming a hitman didn't really require me to struggle with my morals. I had heard through the grapevine about some people that could get me started in the business. So I decided to get into contact with these people.

I was told to meet them at 3:00 am in a specific empty parking lot. When I got there I noticed that there were no lights anywhere. When I came to meet my contacts, I was unable to see who they really were. It was too dark and I could only see their silhouettes.


 

They told me about my first target and where I could find him. The target's name was Donald, and he was on the bread shaped planet, Duckula 7. I didn't want to know why there was a hit on this Donald fellow. I just figured the less I know, the better off I am. So I made haste for Duckula 7.

When I arrived on the planet, I was met by a large black duck who introduced himself as Daffy. He was friendly enough, but he kept spitting all over me as he spoke.





I became extremely agitated by all this saliva and decided to throw a punch at Daffy. I hit him right in the bill, which hurt my hand pretty bad. He began to fight back, biting my ear and punching me in my right eye. We struggled on and he landed a few more direct hits on my face. But eventually I was able to snap his neck and end the battle.

But just as I was about to celebrate, another duck came out of nowhere and held me at gunpoint. I was handcuffed and taken away.





As I was being escorted to a prison cell, I had managed to use my toe to set off a distress beacon that I had hidden in my shoe. All I could do was pray that somebody was close enough to pick up the distress signal and come to my rescue.



Meanwhile, in space, a ship just happened to pass by Duckula 7 and picked up the distress signal.





I eventually arrived at a dungeon and was strung up by my feet over a barrel of water. The little duck kept a gun pointed at me while a new duck was conducting the torture methods. This new duck demanded that I tell him what I was doing on this planet. But I refused to speak. I was beaten more and dunked into the water until I almost drowned.





While the torture continued, the mysterious bounty hunter that had picked up my distress signal was infiltrating the duck base where I was being held captive. The bounty hunter disposed of the guards as if there was no challenge involved.





After arriving at the door to the cell I was being held in, the bounty hunter turned into a morphball and started laying down bombs to break me out.





After a few seconds, the bombs went off, causing the cell door to fall in and the walls to crumble.





Luckily the explosion killed both ducks and managed to miss me completely. The bounty hunter removed the shackles from my legs and got me down from the ceiling.

Me: Thank you for coming to my aide. But who are you?
???: I'm a bounty hunter that picked up your distress signal.





Me: I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't arrived. Thanks again man!
???: You're welcome, but I'm not a man.
Me: Guh?!?!

The bounty hunter then removed her helmet.

AvenueToTheReal: I'm the xangan formerly known as ABF. But you can call me Nori.
Me: Oh em gee hotness!! A/S/L NOW!!!





ATTR: Quickly! We must get back to my ship before we are overrun by an army of ducks
Me: Okay, but I must ask you something first... Will you have my babies?
ATTR: Yes, I shall bear your warrior-children, and they will be beautiful.
Me: Sweet!


We made our way back to Nori's ship with ninja like quickness. But just before we arrived there, another duck stood in our way. This duck had an evil about him unlike the others. And just as we were about to whoop his ass, he opened wide and shot a kamehameha out of his mouth.

We were caught off guard and the beam was about to hit Nori in the face. So I did what any gentleman would and hurled my body into the beam to protect her.





My limbs were blown off and my body was ripped from my beautiful face. I fell to the ground unconscious due to the whole loss of body thing. Blood was everywhere.

Nori could've left me to die, but she grabbed me by my beautiful luscious locks and dragged me to her ship.





I awoke weeks later in an infirmary. I glanced over to my left to see Nori engulfed in an intense battle.net match of Starcraft. I then recalled what had happened on the duck planet and realized that she saved my life. It was this moment I remembered that my body had been blown off. So I glanced down to see the damage. But to my surprise I was better, stronger, faster. My hitman career was over, I never even saw Donald. But it didn't matter, I was just happy to be alive.





And that Xanga, is how I got my bionic limbs.

But those limbs are the reason I was disqualified from competing in the Beijing Olympics.

True story.