I was talking a female friend of mine a couple of weeks back and she was having boyfriend problems. Every single guy has been through this, and most girls too. You know the situation, you're sitting on one side of the table going "uhhuh, got it,okay" and she's sitting on the other side talking away about much her boyfriend is an asshole, how they always fight, or how she doesn't know if he's going to be happy today or angry today.
You've been there, we all have. And we always say, "So, why don't you break up?" She generally says something like, "But I love him!!<3" or something like that. Then I posed the mightiest of all questions - "So, what do you like about him?"
She couldn't answer, her excuse was, "Well...it's been awhile." So then I ask her, "So, what was the first thing you thought about when you met me?" And she answered. And I asked her a lot of other random detailed-type stuff. And then I said, "So, you're telling me you can remember alllllll that, but can't remember why you're still in a relationship with this guy?"
She didn't say anything. Unbelievable. I remembered one of my sociology classes talked about something like this, the professor explained that people tend to hang out with people who make them feel about themselves. It's all about the comfort zone. That's when I figured it out.
The weak will make excuses, will avoid the problem instead of trying to solve it, and do a lot of other things that seem very irrational.
Random examples and musings:
- Weak handshakes. I heavily dislike weak handshakes. It's just so...un-Spartan-like. Even when I shake hands with girls, I like at least a firm one, not one of those "I'm going to give you my fingers and you're going to shake it like a princess." That sends up red flags right way.
- I hate crushing on girls. I really do. Why? Because I feel weak. I mean, we all know how it feels to hella crush on someone. You always talk to your friends about it, you read into things too much, you always wonder "omgIhopeshedoesn'tthinkthatIlikeher", and those types of dealies. It makes me think more than I really have to.
- Only being in the "comfort zone." What really bugs me are people who hang out with the same group of friends they've had for hella years and refuse to meet anyone else. I do understand that friends stick together and all, but man, go out and say hi to someone new already.
- I really hate it when people use asthma an excuse to not work out or whatever. I have one of the most severe forms of it and I still hit the gym and run and stuff. Granted, I can't run a lot, but hey, I do something.
- A lot of guys like to see what a girl has to show - you know, face, boobs, butt, legs, etc. I like those too, but I also look at flaws. As a fellow Xangan homie once said, we all have flaws. So I like to know if she hides it, or if she overcame it.
- I think we all have our moments of strength and weakness, it's all a part of being human. However, I do believe there are times when it calls for one or the other.
How to become un-weak:
- Watch 300, manlinest movie ever made.
- Go work out.
- Learn from mistakes.
- Think, discover, and explore.
- Step outside your comfort zone and into the adventure zone.
**Edit**
- A homie on Facebook brought up a good point for guys - the ability to sit there and watch chick flicks. It's not unmanly to watch chick flicks, it simply says you're man enough to do so. In fact, I thought Legally Blonde was pretty good. And I love My Sassy Girl - but everyone does.
- Watch Man vs. Wild - Bear Grylls is the eptiome of badassness.
Suggestions are welcomed.
Comments (37)
YES! i cannot stand limp/weak handshakes. i don't usually judge a person so quickly, but i will decide what kind of person you are, less than a split second into a handshake. especially in business, this is crucial. i decide if i can squirm money out of you just from a handshake. so far i haven't been proven wrong.
watch 300: check.
go work out: check.
learn from mistakes: checking as we go along.
think, discover, and explore: still checking...
step outside your comfort zone and into the adventure zone: need to work on this one.
AGREE! weak handshakes suck... BE A MAN (if you're female.. shake hands LIKE A MAN) it's almost like saying "i cannot be fked shaking hands with you"
"flaws" are cool! i like to think of them more as uniquities (is that a word?)
as for that working out business... i don't work out coz i'm lazy i don't make any bs excuses. although i'm thinking about taking up tennis again... which means gym will be a must cozi don't have the muscles for it anymore.
I hate crushing too..
and I loved: "we all have flaws. So I like to know if she hides it, or if she overcame it."
@metro7 - Haha, word. And thanks for the rec!
Crushing definitely sucks.
Weak handshakes? Hmmm. I never think twice about them. I don't do a lot of handshaking tho either really... Interesting.
300. 300 hairless grease covered men who may have had sex with each other.......MANLY FOR SURE!
300 was crazy. Those guys were ripped! good post :)
@Ju1cyXCouture - hell yeaaaah!
lol un-spartan. i like that.
true
also some guys in gym meatheads
like those w/ hummers may not look weak
but could be weakest of all
it all depends you never really know
girls just like someone to complain to while they go back to the usual blah
for better or for worse
trying to do more of all those stuff you recommend = )
i havent been watching movies for a longggggggg loonngg timee!! man i gotta catch up on them > <
thanks a lot for sharing this ! i HATE crushing too!
ciao~
i cant agree much more. been in a situation with someone like that recently... either show your weakness or overcome it.
If you have small-ish hands, does that count as a weak handshake?
@aznroadrunner - Nope, think about when you were a kid and shaking older people's hands.
@welovedonny - Well that all goes back to flaws, is someone hiding it, or was that flaw overcame?
@EclipticStrike - Yeah, their hand would always envelop mine, so I could never get a good grip. I'm just saying it's hard when the other guy's got hands like a baseball mitt.
Maybe it's because the other party doesn't know how to shake hands. I shake hands with kids all the time and they go "Wow! That's cool!" What I can suggest is getting your fingers and thumb around the palm area and squeeze. None of this finger hand shaking things that girls do.
Or you can just pound it, haha.
i see what you mean about the weakness thing but i cannot help but be very very annoyed by your contempt for your friend.
i used to complain about the guys i dated just to vent out my anger. i really just needed someone to listen to me or give me some kind of confirmation that i am not being an over-reacting psycho. and when the other party starts asking me the 'why are you with him' and 'what are the good qualities you see in him' questions, it would drive me insane!
I am a firm believer that a handshake should be delivered firmly (no pun intended).
I hang out with the same bunch of people for the past 6 years or so. BUT i do meet other people and i do go out with other people from time to time. I don't see an issue with hanging out with the same group all the time BUT of course, taken to extreme, if they dont hang out with anyone else except themselves then it will be a little freaky, almost "cultish".Now that Asthma issue, i have taken MC's for my asthma and i go to the gym at least 5 times a week, so would you regard me as weak then?I hate crushing too! But isnt it normal? I wouldnt regard it as weak. It would just be a temporary "uncool" moment (or moments) and everyone has them from time to time.
Props!
@anticharis - no no, I meant people who use it as an excuse not to go. I'm on daily meds - so I feel you.
@MuseErato - I believe that there is a difference between complaining and breaking up, getting back together, having a honeymoon period again, and then wonder why he's still doing the same things he's been doing since before and why he hasn't changed.
a weak handshake from people is a no no.
I couldnt agree more about the weak handshake, it makes me sick when a guy does it I want to vomit! A girl not so much because they can be very gentil. I dont understand people that stay in a relationship when they are always angry at each other
I think they are so frightened of change, of the unknown, what will happen if I leave him/her?
Swimming is great for asthma! if you have a health problem like that then get moving it can only do you good.