I recently put what I had learned in this book into practice and it strengthened my walk with the Lord greatly. The issues are emotional and hard to handle sometimes but God has a way of taking your faults and somehow glorifying Him with them.

This is an insert from a book called, Men's Secret Wars. This book has helped me in many ways and I know that it will help others in our group as well. But don't take my word for it. Here is a quote from the author of the Every Man's Battle series.....
"If I had read Men's Secret Wars and applied it as a young man, I would have saved myself many sorrows, many regrets." - Stephen Arterburn

Children raised in dysfunctional homes - whether those homes are alcoholic or rigidly religious - learn that who they are simply isn't enough. As we saw in the chapter dealing with the hero subculture in America, men learn to play a role in our society and to erect a facade to garner the approval of others. The result, we saw, is the creation of a carefully designed image. This image is our false self and includes only those parts of us that we choose to reveal.
Society actively encourages the creation of a false self; it's called putting your best foot forward. The problem,of course, is that to maintain our sanitized image we must keep our dark side hidden, along with its potential for sin and destructive behavior. In fact, we humans are capable of playing a role so effectively that we even fool ourselves. This is what the Bible calls being "hardened by the deceitfulness of sin" and what Twelve Steppers call denial.
As a teenager I tried to hide the fact that I was a Christian from my friends in high school in order to be popular. A kind of double life in high school in which I had one set of friends and activities at church and an entirely different set of friends and activities at school - and I expended great energy in trying to insure one world never intersected with the other. The nonreligious persona I adopted at school was a false self.
I also developed a secret life of sexual fantasizing as a teenager. All during this time I never talked to anyone about my secret fantasy life, and I cultivated a squeaky - clean image at church as a young Christian leader. We all have dozens of ways we hide parts of ourselves in the shadows and prop other parts in the light. The more discrepancy there is between our hidden self and our public self, the greater the danger of becoming entrenched in the secret life syndrome.
One of the greatest dangers in the development of a false self is the potential for what Chuck Colson calls the Pedestal Complex. In an article in Christianity Today Colson decried the tendency among Christians today to exalt our stars and leaders and put them on pedestals. He quite properly labeled the tendency as idolatry.
But I hate pedestals for a different reason. I hate them for what they do to the people occupying them. Pedestals have their perks, but ultimately they're just another kind of prison. In a tragic catch-22, the leader on a pedestal can't admit to struggling with anything in his personal life, or according to the unspoken rules of the game, he loses his perch. At that point, for many leaders it's a relatively short walk from the pedestal to the closet.
In my own case, I was so obsessed with my image as a Christian leader that I didn't want to let anyone see my weaknesses. So as my first marriage became increasingly conflicted, I refused to go to a marriage counselor. I was afraid someone might see me, and then my reputation would be harmed. By the time I did finally agree to go, I was already involved in the sexual sin that ultimately damages so many.
By contrast, a few years ago a good friend of mine found himself overwhelmingly attracted to the wife of his business partner. She, in turn, expressed a similar attraction to him. They didn't know if they were "falling in love" or not, but they knew that if they acted on their feelings, it would be wrong. So they did something courageous. They immediately went to their spouses and told them about their feelings, as well as their commitment to remain faithful to their marriage vows. The four of them discussed the issue calmly and openly. And a fascinating thing happened. By dragging their feelings out into the light rather than leaving them hidden, they found that their feelings lost their power. In fact, it all turned out so positively that the two of them actually went on to share about their healthy experience with the entire adult Sunday school class at their church. It was a wonderful model for how to handle impulses from our dark side.
Dr. Ken Druck, in his book The Secrets Men Keep, lists five benefits of acknowledging our secrets and living transparently:

1. Our whole world changes when we tell the truth.
2. We fulfill our human need to be known and accepted.
3. We simplify our lives.
4. We improve our relationships.
5. We become more secure.
And to those five benefits I would add a sixth: We restore our relationship with God.
taken from Men's Secret Wars pgs169-171

Insert from Chuck Swindoll's Book, Man to Man

Hurtling toward a destiny unaware

It is interesting to note that one of the terms the Bible uses to describe people who don't know God in a personal and meaningful manner is "lost." That doesn't necessarily mean they are immoral or lawless or bad neighbors or financial failures or emotionally unstable or irresponsible or even unfriendly folks. Just lost. As we've already observed, they may be sincere, involved, and in touch with many people, moving rapidly (and successfully) through life. They may even feel good about themselves - confident, secure, enthusiastic... yet still lost. Physically active and healthy, yet spiritually offtrack. Sincerely deluded. Unconsciously moving through life and out of touch with the One who made them. Disconnected from the living God.

Take a close look at this statement I have copied from the old, reliable book of Proverbs in the Bible.

There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death (Proverbs 14:12).

Isn't that penetrating? The "way" a person is going through life may seem right. It may have the appearance of being okay. It may also have the approval and admiration of other rather influential individuals... but its end result is the ultimate dead-end street.

All this reminds me of a true yet tragic World War II story. The Lady-Be-Good was a bomber whose crew was a well-seasoned flight team, a group of intelligent and combat-ready airmen. After a successful bombing mission, they were returning to home base late one night. In front of the pilot and copilot was a panel of instruments and radar equipment they had to rely on to reach their final destination. They had made the flight many times before, so they knew about how long it took to return.

But this flight was different. Unaware of a strong tailwind that pushed the bomber much more rapidly through the night air than usual, the men in the cockpit looked in amazement at their instruments as they correctly signaled that it was time to land.

They refused to believe those accurate dials and gauges, though. Confident that they were still miles away from home, they kept flying and hoping, looking intently for those familiar lights below. The fuel supply was finally depleted. The big olive-drab bomber never made it back. It was found deep in the desert many miles further and many days later. Its fine crew had all perished, having overshot the field by a great distance... because they followed the promptings of their own feelings, which "seemed right" but proved to be wrong. Dead wrong.

What happened in the air back in the early 1940s is happening in principle every day on earth. There are good, sincere, well-meaning, intelligent people traveling on a collision course with death, yet totally unaware of their destiny. That's why we read that Jesus, God's great Son, came "...to seek and to save that which was lost" (Luke 19:10). His coming to earth was God's rescue plan - a seek-and-save mission designed to help those who are lost find the right way home.

That needs some explanation.

Think of the Bible as the absolutely reliable instrument panel designed to get people (and to keep people) on the right track. We won't be confused if we believe its signals and respond to its directions, even though we may not "feel" in agreement at times. In this Book we find a bold yet true statement:

...God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life.

These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, in order that you may know that you have eternal life (1 John 5:11b-13).

Read that again, this time a little more slowly and, if possible, aloud:

...God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life.

These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, in order that you may know that you have eternal life.        pgs 347-349

May Jesus Shine on you all!

This has been an amazing couple of weeks for me. We spent the weekend at Young Peoples Councils (Church Camp) and it really had an empact on the youth that we brought. They had never seen so many kids their age on fire for God and it really touched them. The weekend was great! The Charlie Hall Band was there reminding us that "from the grave He's risen, VICTORIOUSLY!" Man the music was great, and our kids are still talking about it! I must admit though, I think that I enjoyed it more than most of them and I am glad that I didn't bring any money or else I would have left broke. I would have bought every CD and T-shirt there!

The "Skit Guys" were also preforming all weekend! And I have to tell you that I honestly hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. If you haven't seen them before I recommend that you do! Their christian skits are both sidesplitting and thought provoking. They brought the Word of God to the youth in a way that made them really WANT to listen and learn.

Other than the main performers their also was other fun activities for everyone to take part in. There was a mechanical bull, paint ball, fried twinkies and oreos, basketball, ministry workshops...drama, skit, etc..., carnival games,and much more!

The brass band played in our Sunday service and they were wonderful! The brass, piano, songsters, and vocal solo really but us in a worshiping state of mind.

We packed up and went home right after the Holiness meeting and you could see in our young peoples' eyes that they grew closer to Jesus in that little bit of time that they got to spend away from their normal lives. And I also had some of them come to me and say how they now want to join Corps Cadets and have their own Salvation Army uniform! So now this week we will be revamping our classes to accommodate this new spike in attendance. I am asking that you pray for our youth and that they will understand that we do what we do to honor Jesus Christ and that it is not about being popular. I have a feeling that these kids are going to make wonderful ambassadors of Christ someday and I thank God for bringing them to us now so that they can impact the other youth in their lives right now.

On a personal note... I turned 26 on Sunday, and I can really see God's hand pushing obstacles out of the path He is leading me on. I am scared about what He has instore for me but I know that running away will just make things harder in the long run. And when I get to heaven I want to here Him say, "well done, good and faithful servant, I love you."

God Bless you all my family,

Your brother in Christ,

DeeJay