A couple of weeks ago I was taking care of my sister's pets. Not really her pets, but her kid's pets. Their dog and their rabbits.

Their dog looks a lot like a coyote. We had to call our neighbors and introduce them to the dog, Seymour, so that they wouldn't accidentally shoot him, should he be running around. And run around he does.

Later, I found out, that more than one local took aim at him thinking he was a coyote. Luckily they really looked before shooting, otherwise this would be a very sad story of a blog.

Usually, while running around, Jefferson was with him. So if someone took aim, not far behind was a giant white dog that'd make them do a double take and realize it was just Seymour and Jefferson, out and about. They actually cornered a coyote themselves, so they became local hero's.

Needless to say, they remind me of these two:

That was my brother's father-in-law comment as he was walking out the door last night.

We all agreed it was true.

Yesterday i attended two birthday parties. The first one was for my niece, although she wasn't there for half of it and the adults spent the time talking and drinking. It was a nice day to be outside talking and drinking.

Then in the evening I walked over to my cousin's house (which is one of the two houses you can walk to and back--everyone else is three miles away [which, yes you CAN walk to, but come on--see below]). He was having his 30th birthday celebration.

I showed up and my cousin had on his ever-present baseball cap (if not a cowboy hat) and a john deere-looking shirt that said "Local Celebrity".

Amongst the people there was an old high school 'flame'. I haven't seen him since high school and it was very odd for some reason. There was no spark. He's married. So it wasn't odd in that fashion.

I think it was odd because it was like "whoa, we're all grown up, eh?"

Most of the people I ran around with in high school I've seen off and on--even if it's in the hometown grocery store--from time to time since high school. But few people whom I spent so much of my high school days, and FUN high school times they were, have I not seen since those exact days.

It was nice.  But also surreal. There was also the fact that after I walked in and had a conversation with my cousin about my dildo-looking flashlight (it really doesn't look like a penis at all, it's just a 'different' looking flashlight and he was shocked when I pulled it out of my back pocket), my friend, GB, said "Hey, Rachel, What's this?" and he pointed to a drawing he had and I looked at it. Then looked closer. Then looked at everyone starring at me, then looked at my nieces there were standing right there and said "I'm not saying, you dirty bastard".

He was drawing girly-parts, apparently. Or so it seemed. I looked questionably at my cousin's wife and she said "what you're thinking? It's probably right".

I never found out what was going on there. Nor, do I really care. I just walked away and heard my sister-in-law say to GB "I guess I'll have to have a talk with Rachel about some things". Then laughter.

Surreal I'm telling you, surreal.

Then there was a session of pin the tail on the donkey--some people taking it way to seriously and the competitions amongst farmers is fierce.

Which brings me to my final point about this party. It was a moment of 'ah yes, back home'. It didn't sink in until i was walking home with two motorcycle helmets in my hand with my dildo flashlight, but you know you're back on the farm when people give the birthday boy ammo, whiskey and beer koozies. Another sign? The men at the party won't shut the fuck up.

These dudes spend the majority of their day by themselves--or with each other. When they get around new people they won't stop talking. It's not about interesting stuff, either. Stories about how they tubed on the same river you tubed on (and you have to say "yeah, I remember. I was there"). Or how they saw a coyote and NEARLY got him the other day. Or how they mistook the neighbor's plumber for a potential burglar and were about ready to draw their gun on them. Or what they had for dinner the other night (avocado bisque).

And you know these are desperate times when you overhear someone say "Oh yeah, Rachel? I hang out with her all the time" (not true, by the way--I don't hang out with that dude at all), the other dude saying "Yeah, I have too.." (also not true) and the third dude saying "Really? You guys never tell me anything!" You know, like it's cool to hang out with me. (not true)

I wanted to say "You guys never tell me anything, either--when DID we hang out?" Instead I grabbed my dildo flashlight and two motorcycle helmets and walked home. Even though everyone offered me a ride: another sign you're in the country. Walk somewhere? Are you kidding? There's gas to burn.