Kick Me

A city lawyer went duck hunting in a rural town. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's paddock on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer walked up to him and asked what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

"I am one of the best trial attorneys in the country and if you don't let me get that duck I'll sue you and take everything you own," boasted the lawyer.

The old farmer smiled. "Apparently, you don't know how we do things up here. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three Kick Rule." "What's that?" the lawyer asked. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney thought about it and figured he could take the old man easily. So he agreed. The old farmer walked up to the city fellow and kicked him in the groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face. The third kick almost knocked the lawyer out of his wits.

The lawyer slowly got to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot-now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."