Monday, April 21, 2008
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19 DAYS UNTIL MY LIFE ENDS!!!
High school graduation is in 19 days (May 16th). I am NOT looking forward to it
! I am scared shittless, as I mentioned before. I feel like I'm not capable of making it as anything in life, and I'm not capable of making it on my own. I got excepted at Northland Tech in East Side, Grade Forks ND, but I don't know if I want to go or not, because I don't think I am college material. I wouldn't last 5 minutes in college. I don't know what I'm going to do. I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!!!!! 
I've been having thoughts about overdosing on pills, so that I won't have to deal with life and all the stress that goes along with living. I have nothing going for me anyways, and it's not like anyone would notice, or even care if I was gone. I feel so alone and hopeless.
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Comments (8)
hey girl,
i love your background =)
we all have those feelings of failing and not being good enough for college, and i mean college isnt everything, its not for everyone either.
and dont worry, you'll get through it, and there are alot of people that care about you, even if you dont realize it... its more than you think.
i mean.. i care =)
if you need anyone to talk to im always here. ive had all the same feelings so just know your not alone. i mean today i felt like either cutting my wrists up or taking a couple vicodin. oih. its a struggle to stay happy... but its worth it.
<3 stay strong
hey babe thanks for stopping by! of course it's ok. ok, look, life only gets BETTER after high school. i promise you. you know what? i'm in my second last year in college and i still haven't grown up. just because high school is over doesn't mean you have to grow up. college is just the next "keepin you young step" i swear it's not that bad. it keeps you focussed and distracted at the same time! good luck with everything. much love <3
ps. everyone in college is super immature. i don't think people ever grow up.
ugh. i'm sorry you're feeling like that. i know people would care though! we sure would :) i have those thoughts sometimes too. just keep going. stay strong. giving up is giving in. what's the fun in that?
don't worry about college, you'll be fine. at first you'll think "what the fuck am i doing here?"...you'll have the worries of failing and such. it's totally normal. no one wants to "grow up" so fast. it's a process.
lol, this is coming from at 17 yr old who's officially been in uni since she was 16 and did community college stuff at 14. trust me! YOU WILL MAKE IT. it isn't all that bad, once you get used to things. you will meet so many new people and get to learn new things. i'm a bio major. you can choose anything! everything. its all up to you now.
(plus there's some pretty interesting and hot people on campus who are just as freaked out as you).
campus food sucks though! so you won't be eating. except we have a starbucks. yummm. coffee helps with the all nighters. if u need any advice! i'm here.
i hope all does well and congrats on graduation. much luv - kat
they wouldn't have accepted you if you wouldn't make it through!!
i'm doing a fruit/veg fast for 2 weeks as well!! support buddies??
yay! i dont have to do it alone now
babe, people would notice. people would care. i'm sorry you're feeling like this...i hope you're feeling better today. there is so much more out there for you. the world is an exciting place, even though it seems daunting and overwhelming. just have faith and patience that you will find your way. this isn't some religious crap, I just mean to have faith in and patience with yourself.
much love <3
Hey hun...I remember being in your position about 6 or so years ago. It is so scary to think that so much has to change. But really, you need to think of it as a new you. A fresh start into a new life that you deisre for yourself. I still struggle in my last year of Uni but there are just days (few and far between unfortunatly) that I can pull something good out of them. What faculty are you looking to get into? You NEED to do somehting that you love and are passionate about. You love drawig and writing I know from being on yur site previously...could you go into Arts maybe? Do not follow a path that has been created by others for you because it won't lead to any happpiness or satisfaction. Analyze what you want and follow it. you are worth it.
Man this is way easier said than done :P
Take care
Are you from Grand Forks?? I grew up there and most of my family lives there. My father and brother both are in Fargo now. I love it there. Do you go to the Red Pepper often??? It's been years since I've had a salami taco grinder and I've been craving thenm for EVER!!! Sorry so random Love and Luck