My chidren,

First off, do not expect the apocolypse because George W is remaining in the White House for 4 more years. Do not fear, I have not let Satan get his hands on the United States government.

You know, a lot of people thought that I was the one who took away power from the British monarchy and enforced the killing of people in my name and it gets me angry to think that people blame me for this stuff.

Whenever bad things happen, you come crying to me. When good things happen you thank me and begin bitching about something else. Might I remind you that I only sometimes actually help you out. Most of the time I just let you battle things out. Like when you force a baby to feed itself or go hungry. Human kind is one long learning process. Everytime something bad happens, learn from it. When good things happen, examine how you got them and strive for more actions accordingly.

I guess what I am really trying to say is, Bush or Kerry, the Canadians and Mexicans are still going to attack the US. That's right, they are building up armies armed with sticks, stones, maple syrup and poverty. While your troops are overseas they are getting ready to reclaim their share of North America. So don't be so petty, support who you have, cause you are going to be a spanish speaking commonwealth of Canada by 2005.

May the Bible be with you

My children, GOD here.

Wow, I have been so busy spreading my word and helping out Mel Gibson with little J's flick that I haven't updated in quite some time.

There seems to be a little harshness in the mass about my site. All you non-believers ask yourselves this, "Could this be He? Could this be God?"

The name says it all. I decided that I needed a new way to speak to a large amount of people. The Pope is too old to get anything across and I have avoided the computer way to long.

So listen up. Chill out. Tupac and I had a long chat about it and he thinks the same. Everyone needs to either give it a rest, stop downloading porn and just enjoy life. You only have one and odds are that you aren't going to be seeing a whole hell-of-a lot of heaven if you keep acting so negative.

Much love,

God, the original bad-ass mc

Personally, I think the best thing I ever created was the Popsicle. It is most wonderful. How many things go from solid to liquid in such a tasty fashion? If only I had created more things that were amusing. But no, The Holy Ghost said, "Give them plague! EVeryone loves plague!"

That's the last time I listen to that asshole.

Sometimes I think making humans was more trouble than it's worth. I have been thinking a lot about Judgement Day, the movie not the actual biblical date, and thinking to myself "It would be really cool if the end of the world came from a shiny robotic hand built by man himself." Building things that you can control like robots, to me, it seems like you are striving to be me. Playing God by having ultimate control over something.

Glitches can be made and prices will be paid.

That was a song lyric I thought of in the late 60's. I tried to influence Joplin's mind so she would sing that in a song, but she picked something else instead.

By the way,

Coming up this August, my first CD will be availible for sale. It is a compilation of hit song covers done by Biblical figures. the foreword on the case was written by Whoopi GOldberg, check it out at your local Sam Goody.